The Trip to Brogualy

M: Even the cat doesn't like us.

J: She should! She helped with the podcast. Again. We're even giving her credit this time.

M: BWAB presents, Podcast No. 2! Enjoy.

Minerva pouts from a distance.

P.S. 

J: It was October 11th, and we missed it last year, too. 

M: Two years in a row.

J: Thaaaaat's BWAB!

Alan Podtridge

J: 9:45 on a Thursday...




J: Our first attempt at a podcast! Or rather, just an audio recording of ourselves talking, instead of typing. Minerva makes her first appearance on the blog.

M: We promise it'll get better. But not much.

J: We leave you with a tribute to one of our favorite actors and human beings, the late Robin Williams. Your frosting face is delicious.

About Brogue Time

J: What is a cattery again?

M: It's like a cat menagerie.

J: You know what would be a great parody... The Cat Menagerie instead of The Glass Menagerie. I would read that.

M: By Kentucky Johnson.

J: Oh, that was good.

M: Right?!

J: So the same night we watched Big Nothing (and now we have to link it, goddammit)...

M: Links are hard.

J: Apparently! We also watched About Time, which was easily a better movie. We both found this charming, whimsical, and entirely worth watching.

M: It offended the part of me that likes things to be more realistic, but yes. It was nonetheless charming, if silly.

J: It did boast a decidedly surreal premise, but it was set beautifully within the premise of the modern-day world. And it had Rachel McAdams! I love Rachel McAdams. This was her second time travel movie.

[insert discussion on feminism and time travel here]

M: So about Bill Nighy. He... um...

J: I thought this was one of his more realistic roles. He was eccentric as usual, but much more of an anchor to the other characters than he has been in other films I've watched.

M: That is quite astute.

J: Astute is a great word.

Wow. Such rocks. So nostalgia.

M: [laughs] Agreed. I think my favorite part of this film was when it didn't end for the third time and there was a flashback and rocks were skipped and Matt sang a delightful song about skipping rocks in Cornwall.

J: I 100% completely forgot about Matt singing. In fact, I don't remember now. What I do remember are there several moments that I thought the movie was over, and surprise! It wasn't.

M: I'll sing you the song...

J: Do go on.

M: [sings] This is, again, why we need a podcast. "Skippin' rocks in Cornwall!" 'Cause it was when the dad went back in time and the kid went back in time and they were skipping rocks on the beach... a little too idyllic.

J: Right, that scene technically wasn't necessary. We had all the same feelings watching the earlier moments between Bill Nighy and his son.

M: Not his real son, of course. Does Bill Nighy have sons? I bet he has many illegitimate children. I don't know, maybe not. Maybe he's a devout Catholic, maybe not. Not that Catholics don't have illegitimate children... I'm going to stop talking now.

J: BWAB tackles religion. You might want to turn away...

M: I'm sorry, I've gone too far.

J: The main point that I want make is that this is a time travel movie that ends happily. Unlike The Time Traveler's Wife, which left me ugly-crying alone in my room.

M: Talk about double spoiler!

The infamous first meeting.

J: Whatever! It's been years now. If BWAB is the one teaching you about time travel movies, so be it. I will say that one of my favorite scenes was the main character and Rachel McAdams meeting for the first time in a pitch-black restaurant. I thought the dialogue was really perfect and representative of a first meeting.

M: But! As that moment is replaced due to the convenient use of time travel... well frankly, I don't think I got over that. It bothered me for the rest of the movie, because it was so sweet and perfect and then it technically didn't happen.

J: That's a really good point. That was the moment where I wondered which direction this movie was going to go. If it was a cheesy, feel-good film, they would find a way for the main characters to still meet. If this was meant to be a commentary on hubris and perfectionism, then perhaps the main character would have ended up alone.

M: Yes, I felt like his second or third efforts were never as charming or as genuine as the first. It kind of negates the entire film for me.

J: It's like you'd rather Rachel McAdams turn him down for his lack of sincerity than enjoy the fact that they should have been together from the beginning. Nevertheless, the movie persevered and you quickly learned that this was meant to be feel-good at best.

M: Right.

J: It was, honestly, a relief for me after the trauma of the previous film and my remembrance of The Time Traveler's Wife.

[two-hour conversation about life]

J: What did you think about Bill Nighy's role in this movie?

Stop it.

M: I feel like we've talked a lot about Bill Nighy.

J: He was the main British guy.

M: What was the kid? I mean, who was the kid?

[Wikipeda-ing ensues]

J: Whoa! He's Irish and he was Bill Weasley in the Harry Potter movies. Not only that, his father played Mad-Eye Moody!

M: Wasn't he in the first BWAB movie we watched? The Guard?

J: Oh my gosh, you're right! BWAB comes full circle!

M: I don't feel like we can go anywhere from here. I feel like we've reached the... I mean... for this post in particular... we can't do better than that. BWAB as a whole will live on. Until forever. Or further notice.

J: I WAS GONNA SAY...

M: Yes, go on.

J: We're rockstars. With much more to say.

M: Um, I think I have to go to bed.

J: Fair, fair. We've done a lot for one night. Til next time!

M: BWAB out!

brb (not pooping)

Brogue Nothing

M: [cleans glasses] I'm gonna see so good after this.

J: You are. It's gonna be baller.

M: Good start.

J: Do you have any mixers?

M: [walks to kitchen] We have limeade mix, lemonade mix, tonic water, and Bloody Mary mix...

J: [follows excitedly]

M: Do you want ice?

J: Nah.

M: I suppose vodka and tonic is a thing people drink...

J: Yeah! Vodka tonics!

M: Well when you put it that way, yes!

J: So a million years ago, and by that I mean several weeks if not a couple months, we watched TWO movies in ONE night. I think we got a bit overwhelmed. And then sick. And then there was a holiday. What I'm trying to say is that BWAB is back!

M: All right!

J: We're going to do our best to review the two movies we watched, both of which were rented from Liberty Hall: Big Nothing and About Time.

[BWAB review plot of Big Nothing on Wikipedia]

What did you call us? Where are we?

J: This was a terrible movie!

M: We watched that. Everybody dies. Whoops, sorry, spoiler!

J: Doesn't matter. This movie featured David Schwimmer and Simon Pegg.

M: Aka Ross and, uh, Sargent Angel.

J: It was a doozy.

[conversation ensues]

J: We need a podcast.

M: We DO need a podcast!

J: The movie was set in Oregon of all places, but was filmed primarily in Wales and Canada. You could tell.

M: The Isle of Man! Which is neither Wales nor Canada.

J: I mean, but they were on the list on Wikipedia. Maybe "primarily" was a strong word. So mostly the Isle of Man. The point is, nowhere near Oregon. Except maybe Canada, which relatively speaking, is near Oregon, but still not Oregon.

I'm English, b*tches.

M: Details. I'm not sure why it needed to be set in Oregon in the first place.

J: No. And the houses, neighborhoods, etc. were clearly not American.

M: Wasn't Ross's wife foreign or something? She had an accent... was she French? She wasn't even American.

J: [checks Wikipedia] The actress is English, but did she have an accent?

M: She definitely had an accent, I just don't remember what sort.

J: Either way, this movie was 100% all over the place.

M: [nods]

No but seriously, we should steal something.

J: It had an interesting enough murder mystery plot.

M: Did it?!

J: It definitely felt like it wanted to be a heist movie.

M: That was an honest question, actually. I kind of fell asleep... Oh! But I do remember, we were watching it, and we thought, 'oh this is interesting,' and might be some sort of mystery plot, but then it turned into a heist movie and we were just sort of aghast.

J: Yes, that's right! It turned into just another poorly-constructed British, etc. heist movie. What were they stealing? Money?

M: Yes. They were blackmailing someone who wasn't home.

J: We remember loads about this movie. Someone needed money for medical bills and decided to make some less than savory decisions to get it? And David Schwimmer was, well David Schwimmer. Ross. I'm not sure he has any other characters.

M: It's true. So when are we going to get a podcast?

J: Is Radioshack out of business yet?

M: No, I think they're still there!

J: We definitely need to go buy an on-sale microphone. Soon.

Is this really another heist film?
I'm afraid so.

M: Yes. I already feel sorry for the people that might hear us.

J: I'd like to say it will be their choice, but we definitely have some friends...

M: ...that we might guilt into listening.

J: I was thinking tie to a chair, but that's probably more normal.

M: So are we going to talk about the other movie now, or are we going to do a separate post?

J: Separate post. We owe it to the other movie.

M: Fair. Did we have anything else to say about this one?

J: Perhaps at the time? As far as I can tell, this was chosen for its awkward factor.

M: And location. At Liberty Hall.

J: Exactly. I don't particularly recommend it, if only because there are better movies out there you could be spending your time on. And Ross is annoying.

M: Stay tuned for a slightly better movie.

J: About Time!

STAY TUNED, DAMMIT!

***UPDATE***

J: I know that you were tuned, but I have to say, we got a really great comment on Facebook. Impressively great. And I feel utterly obligated to share it with you:

Esther Swanson Doesn't Simon Pegg attempt an American accent throughout that movie?

Yes, Esther, yes he does. And it was one of the first things Meredith and I both noticed, and one of the main things we wanted to point out in this post. Naturally, we forgot. So thank you! And readers, if you ever wanted to hear Simon Pegg adopt a god-awful but still funny American accent, this one's for you!

Under the Brogue

J: So apparently the end of this film was a departure from the book.

M: Huh.

J: According to the article I read, the guy gave props for the visuals but was like, "But we didn't know what was going on, ever."

M: Like, "Hey director, great job with the pretty pictures, but maybe do documentaries in the future. Nature pics. Maybe stick to facts."

J: Precisely. So. Blog With a Brogue went to the movies again.

M: Worst. Idea. Ever.

J: In effect, BWAB made a terrible mistake.

[Meredith returns with two Moscow Mules, ten-minute discussion about Russia ensues]

M: You know, I think I'd really like to go to St. Petersburg.

J: I've heard good things. So do you want to do our opener? Our third opener?

M: [silence]

J: [sighs] Do you want to say something about the movie?

M: Yes. I feel like I really gave this movie a chance. I gave it the benefit of the doubt, right from the get-go. It started off kind of interesting, and then after everything was said and done, I just... it's not even that I'm disappointed. It's just that I don't even care. At all.

J: This movie is getting actual award buzz. I'm shocked.

M: That being said, there really were some amazing pictures. It was really beautiful at times, and I loved the really, sort of, candid driving scenes. It seemed natural and intriguing, which made the let-down of the film itself that much worse.

J: I totally agree. I was willing, maybe through the first half, to believe that the film was going to resolve itself somehow, to give us some reason for having witnessed such odd, confusing scenes. But it didn't. It just ended.

M: It did.

No Scotch for you.

J: I do want to give you props for even suggesting this movie, which I wanted to see based on the tag-line I read online, something something science fiction voluptuous temptress, etc.

M: All I read was alien, something across the Scottish countryside. That was literally all I knew.

J: I didn't even know Scarlett Johansson was in it. And I almost take offense at the term voluptuous. It seemed unnecessary, except to attract the type of attendee who just wanted to see someone naked in public.

M: It wasn't all a loss, though. We did both instantly recognize the kid from the Scotch movie (The Angel's Share), and he was probably my favorite character in the whole movie.

J: Yeah! No... I liked the guy who took her in, who tried to give her a chance at normalcy. It wasn't his fault she had no idea what female anatomy was.

M: Spoiler alert!

J: It's a great scene. You should really not check it out.

M: And the brogues. We've got to talk about the brogues. I could not understand a good 80% of the dialogue in this film due to the brogue.

ScarJo reaches rural Scotland.

J: What little dialogue there was! It was mostly silence, creepy violin music, and nakedness. Every once in awhile someone would talk. And that someone was usually Scottish. And it was more or less impossible to follow.

M: Did ScarJo kind of do an accent?

J: She did a British accent.

M: It wasn't distracting, which is saying a lot.

J: Doesn't she do that one in a different movie? Not Match Point, but...

M: I love Match Point.

J: Was she in Closer?

M: No, that was Natalie Portman and Julia Roberts. Also love that movie. Can we watch a Clive Owen movie?

J: Then I'm not sure what I'm thinking of, but I know she's done it before. In any case, she was the only one you could understand, but she's the only person whose actions didn't make sense.

M: Exactly. Only verbally.

But... but what?

J: Oh! The motorcycle guys!

M: Who the hell were they?

J: Right?! Another mystery.

M: One of many.

J: I just wanted to know more. I kept thinking that it was like modern art. Totally incomprehensible unless you know the backstory. Once you do, it's sort of brilliant, but until that point, it's just a toilet.

M: Way to elevate BWAB! [polite applause]

J: I do what I can.

M: I had like, two more things I wanted to say. Oh, one. Though he's well on the way, Glazer (the director) is no Terrance Malick. And second. Secondly. [shrugs] I would really like to go to Scotland, like a lot. It looks amazing.

J: It was certainly one of the best parts of my study abroad experience, and I would love to go back. The scenery is unbelievable.

Swooshy trees. And ScarJo.

M: Exactly. The pictures were beautiful. It's not like it was poorly directed, it's just.... To go back to Malick, with something like the Tree of Life, it is abstract and maybe a bit meandering, but you have enough storyline and themes. It's like a very beautiful open-ended question. It's thought-provoking. You get something out of it. Not so much with this one.

J: I love that. And having not seen any Terrance Malick, I sort of understand now what Glazer was probably trying to go for. But he didn't give us nearly enough context. All the main themes that were presented, empathy, coming of age, sexual assault, etc., they're not new. And this take didn't bring anything new to them. Just because she's an alien doesn't mean she's teaching us anything about what it is to be human. And isn't that what aliens are for in fiction?

M: An excellent point. And, I mean, I don't know if he's really going for something Malick-esque, that's just something that it reminded me of, with my limited knowledge of cinema. Did I tell you that I saw Close Encounters of the Third Kind just this week?

J: I don't think I've ever seen it.

M: Really?!

J: Yeah.

M: It's pretty good. It's kind of hokey. It's Spielberg. I probably would have loved it as as child.

Such orange. So face.

J: I think I started it on Netflix once and didn't get very far.

M: It's like E.T. for adults.

J: I bet he woke up one morning and thought, "You know what I should do..."

M: But it was before E.T.

J: Damn.

M: It's the vodka talking.

J: The other way around then.

M: [laughs]

J: So the moral of this post is...

M: That E.T. is a great movie.

J: And that should you stumble across a beautiful woman driving a giant white van, under no circumstances should you take your clothes off.

M: Ugh. That movie.

ScarJo phone home.

Broguescendence

M: It looked pretty comfortable.

M2: That's irrelevant.

J: Cat jokes aside, we're here to blog!

M: [laughs] Oh, context.

J: So last week we went and saw a new movie called Transcendence starring Johnny Depp. It was our second attempt at BWAB goes to the movies (see, or maybe don't: Trance) and I can't say that we did any better this time around.

M: [shakes head] I think it was the closest that I've come to falling asleep in a movie theater since the first Transformers movie. I think I had a sinus infection then. In any case, it leads me to believe that I should not try to watch films that start with "trans."

J: Not a bad conclusion, all things considered. I actually stayed awake and alert for this one (may or may not have teared up at the end), but I didn't necessarily think that it was a movie worth paying for.

M: No.

M2: Johnny Depp is crying somewhere.

J: Given his young girlfriend and impressive salary, I rather think not.

M: I have to say, I feel mostly to blame for us having gone to see this... [struggles] film.

I'm doing great, motherf*ckers!

J: No no, it was a great idea and it had lots of potential. I thought the premise was really intelligent and timely, given how much we all use the internet nowadays.

M: [nods] But the real draw, at least for this blog, was the potential for brogue, also known as "Brogue Alert."

J: Hey Mom!

M: Right. Um. So Cillian Murphy. Cillian Murphy's in this movie.

M2: And he's a twat.

J: Not so much a twat, but totally unimpressive in this role, for which he uses an American accent.

M2: [laughs] Sorry, sounds like every other movie he's been in.

M: I'm not sure you've been invited to blog this time.

M2: It's at my house assholes!

M: "Our" house.

M2: When you're talking about Cillian Murphy it becomes my house. You're going to leave me for the Irishman.

Transcended. And/or the undead. We're not sure.

J: This nonviolent domestic dispute brought to you by House of Ginger and Blog With a Brogue. The movie also featured Paul Bettany in a leading role, and I thought he was brilliant. He's one of those actors who can blend into a role while maintaining his unique personality.

M: Isn't he a ginger?

J: [nods] Yes. He was also perhaps the only redeemable character in the film, for me.

M: What about the House of Cards chick? The leader of la revolución?

J: I meeeean, I think by the end you realize she's redeemable, but throughout most of the movie, she seems to be on the wrong side. It was frustrating to watch.

M: [nods]

J: [drinks beer]

M: I feel like... we're really... we're really getting away from why we watched this movie. The reason for this blog.

J: Are we talking about Cillian Murphy again?

M: Yes.

J: Is this the Cillian Murphy blog?

Paul Bettany gets serious with some rebels. Ow-ow.

M: [laughs] I mean... [trails off]

J: Well. This is news to me.

M: Brogues! I was talking about brogues, which is misleading in this film, as he was so expertly cast as an American FBI agent [heavy sarcasm].

J: It was truly an odd role for him, and I can't imagine why he took it. The character could have been played by literally any guy or gal with any acting experience at all. Perhaps even by someone without it. Hell, Meredith, you could have done that.

M: [laughs] What are you implying?

J: I didn't see you in the musical in high school.

M: I was in a different musical in high school at a different high school! There are photos and witnesses...

J: I stand corrected.

M: Anyways... I really did not love this film.

J: The blog can tell.

M: I thought the script was often... what's the word...

J: Contrived?

M: Yes. Extremely.

"You're no Tim Robbins..."

J: This movie took itself VERY seriously, as though it were warning America about the perils of artificial intelligence. As if the majority of those movies didn't already come out a decade ago.

M: We've all seen Terminator.

J: I was thinking of AI and I, Robot as well.

M: What's that other one that Matt made me watch... Blade Runner?

M2: Yeah, there's androids, replicants...

J: Seriously, it's been done. The only thing this one had going for it was a powerful love story which, while believable for me, nevertheless made the movie into something of a paltry science fiction joke.

M: I thought you said...

J: Are you gonna say poultry?

M: [nods] [laughs] And I was really confused.

J: There is no poultry in this movie.

M: I mean... I think there was? Weren't there chickens? I think there were chickens. I seem to remember that.

J: Ladies and gentleman, Blog With a Brogue once again setting the standard for movies with chickens.

M: But seriously, speaking of brogues, as this is a blog about brogues...

The gang's all here!

J: Let's bring that home one more time. BROGUES, everyone.

M: It's worth noting to this blogger that Mr. Murphy's American accent has improved significantly. At least so far as I can tell. So there's that.

J: We have that going for us, which is nice.

M: Have you even seen Caddyshack?

J: It's a meme...

M: Well that's what that's from.

J: I did notice his accent was really believable, in that I couldn't believe what a lame role he was playing.

M: [laughs]

J: Let's wrap this up.

M: Okay. So how 'bout next time we watch something better?

J: Or way, way worse. None of this weird in-between stuff.

M: Fair enough.

J: BWAB, signing out.

M: Or is it signing off?

J: Whatever.

Seven Psychobrogues

J: Many eons ago we watched a rather fantastic move called Seven Psychopaths. It was far more entertaining than I expected and actually sort of moving.

M: Can I just say that I forgot what we were blogging about until you said that and I got really excited.

J: I've had to repeatedly remind myself every single time we even talked about blogging, so I'll probably try to blog about this one next time too.

M: I might be okay with that. It was actually that good.

J: Which was super convenient because we had more than one guest watching with us.

M: Yes, I wish they were all here to help us blog as well.

J: Me too. The movie experience was much improved by multiple perspectives and/or outbursts.

M: [finishes first coat of nail polish] Uh, where were we? What was the last thing you said.

J: [repeats]

M: Right! Yes. So, the movie. Um. It was amazing. Did we figure out who wrote it? Because otherwise, the only outright obviously Atlantic Archipelagoan aspect is once again Mr. Farrell, who was - for once - quite likable, I daresay.

J: One of the many things that made this movie unexpectedly fascinating. You're right, Mr. Farrell doesn't really count on our overall brogue...

Okay, okay, he counts. Barely.

M: No, I mean he counts...

J: Right, he counts, but he's so...

M: But he's it. We've been there, done that.

J: I wish. But I digress. I think we did actually determine that the director was British and relatively well-known... [pauses for Google] Martin McDonagh?

M: Uhh... does it say anything else he's done? I think he wrote and directed. And then I think the Colin Farrell screenwriter character was supposed to be some loose... yeah, because I think his name is even Marty in the movie.

J: [back to Google] He has British AND Irish citizenship.

M: It's the best of both worlds. He's like the Hannah Montana of the UK. Or the Atlantic Archipelago, I should say. [sings] The beeeeest of both worlds!

J: And yes! That is the main character's name.

M: So basically, this movie was a really good pick on all accounts.

J: I remember seen trailers for it and not particularly wanting to see it, but I'm so glad I had the excuse, because it was fantastic.

M: I think we even watched the trailer right before we watched the movie, and I was like, "Meh. I feel like we've seen it all." But the movie was so much more.

J: Christopher Walken alone completely sold this movie for me.

M: That man is a national treasure.

J: Someone call Nicholas Cage.

America's national treasure, holding a small dog and
reading a pamphlet.

M: [laughs]

J: And Sam Rockwell...

M: Oh man, I adore Sam Rockwell. And just about everything that he's done. Have you seen Moon yet?

J: [looks quizzical]

M: You gotta see Moon.

J: Will do!

M: I think David Bowie's son directed it. Just puttin' that in there.

J: So, very generally, what was this movie actually about?

M: Whew. Well. Generally it's about this guy named Mahty. He's Irish, he may or may not have a drinking problem, and he's also allegedly a screenwriter of some sort that is struggling to not only finish but begin his current script, entitled Seven Psychopaths.

J: This is one of those great films that crosses the line between character's story and the story itself.

M: I feel like there's a literary term for that that we're just missin' right now.

Saaaaam Rockwell ladies and gentlemen. I think
Meredith wants this hat. Confirmed.

J: Yeah, something about meta something something... story-within-a-story...

M: Inception.

J: Psychoception.

M: Perfect.

J: In any case, it quickly becomes clear that the Seven Psychopaths of Marty's script are actually...

M: Very real indeed.

J: And that may be because the script characters are more or less "given" to him by characters in the movie, making the overlap more obvious, but it's still really well done, in the end. There were a couple of psychopath plot lines that were unfortunately brief, but for the most part, everyone's character felt really well-developed. Did you have a favorite psychopath?

M: Would that be revealing too much, to even divulge?

J: Perhaps... How about a favorite character?

M: Wow. That is difficult. I'm not sure I could pick.

J: There are quite a few to choose from. I think I'd have to go with Christopher Walken, just because of his voice. It's shallow, but true.

M: That voice is a thing of beauty and art and all that is right and good in the world.

J: An iconic piece of American history.

M: As I said, a national treasure.

J: Tip of the cap to you, Mr. Walken.

Camping, a national pastime. 

M: Oh! Can I also point out that this film had an exceptional soundtrack. Multiple songs by the Walkmen, including my favorite.

J: It is a good thing you're here, because I always fail to notice cool things like that. Which one is your favorite?

M: It's called Angela Surf City.

J: Well we should listen to it! To Spotify! I'd also like to point out that more or less the entire plot of this movie revolves around a stolen dog. That is all.

M: [laughs]

J: Okay, we need to finish this, and we can't do it while listening to music, because it's too good.

M: Yes! Okay.

J: Anything else you'd like to add about Seven Psychopaths? We've got a qualifying director and main character, excellent input from our national treasure, Christopher Walken, an interesting collection of plot lines, and awesome music. What more could you want?

M: Um, nah, I think you pretty much nailed it.

J: I NAILED IT.

M: Lady!

She nailed it.

In Brogue

M: It's exciting to get suggestions. It's almost like people care!

J: Have you finished that leftover cider yet?

M: I have not. I'm getting close.

J: Are we doing shots?

M: Um... um... I'm going to go see what I have. That will determine. [laughs] JESUS. We have Kaluah, Everclear, or Jameson.

J: Um... I know you're not supposed to shoot Everclear, but what if I added... WE added some to our beers?

M: [makes appalled, terrified face]

M2: God, you guys' decision making is poor.

M: I'm gonna vote that no one should drink Everclear, ever. Clearly.

M2: DORK.

M: It's just organic, it just came out.

J: Well then. How are we going to finish it?

M: Finish the Everclear?

J: [nods]

M: We could get some more gummy bears.

J: Oh yeah, we did use Everclear with those...

Lucy stares at Tom bewildered,
as he ponders an email he sent earlier that day.

M: It did not work. I still blame the bears, though.

J: Damn bears. Always ruining everything. Well, I don't want to waste your Jameson on BWAB again, so maybe we'll just stick with das beer.

M: Matt, would you like a shot of Jameson? No?

[discussion of Harrison Ford in the 90s]

[M2 starts Terminator 2]

J: So we have to talk about this movie eventually.

M: Lemme drink some more.

J: I hate to say it everyone, but this didn't quite live up to our year-old hopes.

M2: I feel like Terminator 2 is trying to talk to you about your blog. "Do you even care?" "You're wasting your time!"

M: I had a feeling that it might fall short. But everything I read online, the director, who I think also wrote it, no one had anything but really great things to say about it.

J: Admittedly, the style was sort of ground-breaking in terms of the way the actors were prepped and the way it was filmed. Plot-wise, though, we thought it had a few holes.

M: So, I've been thinking about it. And I really think that the entire moral of the whole film...

Alpha male-ing.

J: Bold words...

M: Is that if you even dare to contemplate sneaking to a remote hotel to have premarital sex with a man you just met two weeks before, you will be tortured and possibly killed.

J: There was a very strong force keeping them from getting to the hotel, that's for sure. Whether it was god or a madman, we'll never know. That's a lie. We know. But we're not telling you. Actually, we had a big argument over the purpose of the third character (there were really only three). If you end up watching it, you should really weigh in. A couple of drinks are on the line.

M: I do like that there were only three characters. I think that's the mark of, if not a good film, oftentimes a good script maybe? Or at least strong actors? It lends a sort of theatrical air.

J: We saw this with Retreat, which was similarly disturbing yet difficult to forget.

M: They had Billy Elliot, though. These guys got stuck with Branson.

J: Poor Branson.

M: Sweet, sweet Branson.

J: Interesting the similarities, now that I think about it.

M: Ooh, dare I ask, which one you liked better, or why?

J: Hmm... I do think I have to say Retreat, simply because of the history between the main two characters. It gave the film a depth it maybe didn't deserve but definitely needed to make it as a horror-drama. In Fear was more of an experimental horror film, something like the Blair Witch Project, but much more interesting.

M: [nods] I would have to agree. And the ending of Retreat was absolutely more satisfying than the ending of the Fear. The In Fear. Whatever. Marky Mark's in Fear.

Are you even looking at the road?

M2: Have you ever seen Cape Fear? [laughs]

J: I don't even remember the end of Retreat, which makes my recommendation that much stronger.

M: [laughs] [drinks cider]

J: Should we reveal the cool thing about the way it was filmed?

M: Um, I think it is sufficient to say that the "Making Of" special feature is worth watching. Maybe even more worthwhile than the film itself. More interesting, perhaps.

J: I hit play on the special features out of desperation to understand what the hell was going on at the end of the movie. It is infuriatingly unsatisfying.

[everyone watches Terminator 2]

M: Right.

[Sarah Conner pulls some sh*t]

M: [laughs]

Mmm corn syrup. Tasty, tasty corn syrup.

J: The worst part of all of this is that we were looking forward - so much - to this movie, that it was almost inevitably not going to be as good as we hoped.

M: On that note, where does BWAB go from here?

J: We've actually had a couple recommendations, including a show about a cranky, alcoholic bookshop owner and an old movie with James MacAvoy that I've been meaning to see for ages. We may attempt one of those!

M: Or both of those! Any closing thoughts about the film, Jenna?

J: I did really like the actors and the way they portrayed the characters, even when they made really stupid horror-movie decisions. And I would certainly watch more movies in the "Irish horror film" genre, provided we can find some.

M: It has been good so far. Grabbers was especially entertaining. But this one really wasn't all that bad, all things considered.

J: Not at all, just more "art-house" than I was expecting.

["Come with me if you want to live."]

[Terminator 2 continues]

M2: Now it gets all slow. I kinda just wanna see some sh*t get wild.

[More Terminator 2]

M2: I could do without this.

J: We've only got 10 minutes till Jimmy Fallon. We've gotta wrap this up!

M: I'm so glad you remembered!

J: Bottom line, the brogue was great, the movie was thought-provoking and pretty frightening.

M: Branson was lovely. And creepy.

J: That smile... it's haunting me...

M: Until next time!

Do you want to live?

The Angels' Brogue

J: I'm just really tired of wine.

M: You should put that as the first line.

J: Already done, my friend. How's that pizza?

M: [thumbs up] Thumbs up!

J: So ages and ages ago, we watched this great movie called The Angels' Share. I keep wanting to type The Angles' Share, but that would be incorrect.

M: Like Hot Fuzz, where they call him Sargent Angle. I've only seen that movie a couple times. [sarcasm] Anyways!

J: The movie is definitely worth seeing and definitely not our usual fare. It started as a...

M: Insert lame synopsis here.

You're in trouble now, laddie.

J: BUT REALLY, it started as a heart-felt drama about a young guy from Scotland trying to turn his life around after he finds out that his girlfriend is pregnant. After nearly going back to jail, he ends up befriending his community service cohorts. At this point, the movie turns into...

M: A heist film?

J: Precisely. I couldn't believe the comedic turn of events, but...

M: But there we were, watching another heist film!

J: It didn't lose me. It was still really entertaining and still chock-full of seriously tough brogue.

We are friends!

M: We scoffed when we noticed the subtitles at the beginning, but shortly thereafter, it was extremely evident that they were absolutely necessary.

J: I was so ashamed.

[brief interlude in which we discuss the price of plane tickets to Chicago]

M: Anyways! Basically, this is a really excellent, very entertaining film with above-average brogue. I highly recommend it. Watch it with your mum. [shrugs]

J: Seriously, this is not for the faint of heart if you disdain subtitles.

M: Or Scottish people.

Heisting.

J: [dies] Seriously though, this is a fascinating... no, I don't want to say fascinating... dramatic... no, not dramatic... not educational...

M: You're reaching. C-cautionary? Maybe?

J: It's a look at Scotland.

M: Improbable? With kilts? Words, I'm just saying words now.

J: They do wear kilts!

M: They do indeed.

J: What I was trying to say is that it's one of the more thoroughly Scottish movies that we've watched.

M: [chokes on pizza] Coherent! I thought you were going to say it was one of the more coherent movies we've watched.

J: It held together pretty well, albeit in two very distinct pieces. But as you say, excellent movie, worth watching, and you get to learn a bit about whiskey too.

M: I thought it was scotch.

J: The end.

Young Adam's Brogue

J: But who's Adam? Matt's right. It has to be something to do with the fact that the barge is named "Atlantic Eve."

M: That's what I'm thinking, but I'm still not sure how.

J: So in a Biblical sense, what would a young Adam represent? An Adam without Eve? An Adam who doesn't know God? Male selfishness, fueled by erotic desire?

M: Whoa, but... Adam didn't know sin until Eve. So...

J: So this is young Adam, after Eve but before the fall?

M: So, pre-fruit?

J: There was no fruit in this movie. Just lots of awkward Scottish sex. And cigarettes.

M: Too true.

J: And one very lusty male protagonist. [opens champagne bottle]

Oh-so-lusty.

[Champagne flies everywhere. Cork hits Jenna atop head. No one is unscathed.]

M: Well, that was interesting...

J: Certainly not, um, a, uh... what am I trying to say... not a metaphor for our "lusty protagonist."

M: Quite appropriate.

J: Like, hit me right in the head. After bouncing off your ceiling. Thanks Christmas-champagne!

M: That's what you get for looking in the clearance section.

J: You know that was like $3, right?

M: Well-spent.

J: Worth every penny.

M: Clearly. So the movie... What did you think?

J: Basically, I felt bad for anyone Joe came in to contact with. He's not a stand-up guy, and he's driven by some grief-related sexual tension.

Shall I kill you now? Or later?

M: For the sake of our faithful readers, won't you try to provide a brief synopsis?

J: We meet Joe working on a coal barge in Glasgow, Scotland. He and Les discover a young woman floating in the Atlantic. The rest of the movie devolves into a series of flashbacks and Joe's torrid affairs with married women. The movie ends with the trial of the man accused of killing Cathie (the young woman found in the ocean). I would say no one wins.

M: I mean, Joe might win?

J: If anyone wins, it's Joe, which is unfortunate. I prefer to think that he's haunted by the ghosts of those he's wronged. But, that's hard to tell. He seems so shameless.

M: [laughs] Sorry, I was just thinking about the cork hitting your head again. It was like, dead center of your head. It was amazing.

J: I just can't believe you saw it. Popped me right on the noggin.

M: Just out of the corner of my eye. I still can't quite believe it.

J: That's the only thing that could have happened to make this blog post OK.

M: Well, yeah.

J: What did you think of the movie?

M: Well, I'm debating getting another beer. No, but seriously. The Scottish brogues were difficult, at best. However, I found myself translating more than a few times. I'm quite proud. Also, I kept waiting for Mr. MacGregor to burst in to song from behind his typewriter.

The hills are alive... with the sound of music?

J: It's only natural. The movies are only like 3 years apart.

M: Maybe we should have just watched Moulin Rouge...

J: Touche! Although, personally, I absolutely loved the Scottish brogues. It may be my favorite accent. I just kept thinking of Mrs. Hughes, and the family I stayed with in Scotland. I want to go back...

M: Yeah, there were even a few, although brief moments, of lovely countryside.

J: Yeah, mostly we were on that nasty barge, though.

M: I just imagined you saying that with a Scottish accent. It was lovely.

J: Do go on...

The lovely Scottish countryside.
And that nasty barge.

M: That's all I've got. Well, any closing thoughts?

J: We shouldn't pick movies out of desperation anymore.

M: Right. It is worth noting that we grabbed this one quickly, and at random, from the shelves at Liberty Hall.

J: Very quickly. Very random.

M: That being said, I do enjoy the chance to see Mr. MacGregor in action. And if you've not yet seen it, I'd like to take a moment to heartily recommend The Long Way Round.

J: I'd like to point out that Meredith just typed "wong" instead of "long." And she's not wrong.

M: It was the past tense, perhaps, of something seen in Young Adam. Or it rhymes? It's not important...

J: Also this movie, not family friendly. We've already talked about the sex. The nudity perhaps is a given.

M: But seriously, Long Way Round. Long Way Down. Watch 'em both...

J: Wong Way Round?

M: [clears throat] But seriously, you'll never look at Mr. MacGregor the same way again. It's fantastic.

In case you were wondering, I also ride motorcycles.

J: The moral of the story is that at the end of our review of Young Adam, we're leaving you with a recommendation for a totally different movie.

M: TWO totally different movies. Do with that what you will.

J: And to all a good night!