Friday, October 9, 2015


M2: [whispers] Billie!

Billie (the kitten): [scuffles about]

M: [eats popcorn contentedly] Oh god!

B: [jumps up on the table]

M2: Don't eat the pizza! It's a simple rule.

M: I am not content!

J: Well your cat is. [shoves handful of popcorn into mouth]

M: [boops Billie's nose with finger]

M2: She's now addicted to salt.

M: Just like me... [sees Jenna typing] I told you I wasn't ready yet!

J: [types anyway] So this one might've been my fault.

M: I feel like we need music or something. The silence is scaring me. [attempts to turn on music]

M2: [chuckles] [sighs] [laughs out loud] Remotes are hard.

M: Stop laughing at me! [turns on radio]

M2: [laughs harder]

M: Stop! Why are you still laughing? This is terrible, we haven't even talked about the movie!

[Uptown Funk playing]

J: Well what would you like to say about Laggies?

What does it all mean though? And why aren't you Sam?
M: Laggies. I would like to say that Laggies is a terrible title for a movie, and that it was clearly a movie written by Brits for, no, for, yes, written by Brits for Brits about America.

J: Judging by the title alone, I completely agree. Having watched the movie with you, I also totally agree. This was a strange, strange movie, full of scenarios that would probably never ever happen in real life, but certainly happen in British imaginations of American adolescence.

M: The Brits have quite an imagination.

J: That they do. The basic plot of this movie involves Kiera Knightly as a twenty-something has-been...

M: Would you really call her a has-been? As opposed to a never-was? Or a hasn't-been-yet?

J: That's fair. The point is that she isn't at the point in her life that her friends are, and that makes her seem, as a character....

M: Laggy? Lagging?
This movie really doesn't make any sense.

J: Whatever the title is trying to imply. I still don't know.

M: Her friends are terrible.

J: Well, and they're supposed to be!

M: Kimmy Schmidt's character was so confusing though.

J: I thought they all were. They were supposed to be "the successful ones" and the ones who "had their shit together," but they just seemed like pretentious assholes.

M: Mmhmm. And inconsistent at best!

J: Truly. They were terrible friends, despite all knowing each other "forever."

M: Right?! You'd think it wouldn't be such a surprise that their British friend was a little "laggy." Or their friend with a British accent who was trying to sound American. Ow! Billie!! She just attacked my bra strap.

[Taylor Swift's "Wildest Dreams" plays]
Ahh, thank god. There you are.

M: I like that it's just his clothes in her room.

J: Right? This movie though. It was totally dying until Sam Rockwell showed up.

M: True story. I feel like all our lives are really just waiting for Sam Rockwell to show up.

J: One can only hope that Sam Rockwell will actually show up someday. [prays] Really though, Kiera Knightly is the only one who makes this remotely BWAB-able, and she plays an American. Not terribly well, but she does try her hardest. And maybe she's supposed to be super annoying, but maybe not.

M: I was gonna say... her accent's not that bad... but by the nature of her voice, or just from her trying to hide her accent, she just sounded so squeaky. Grating?

J: It was certainly obvious, whatever it was.

M: Ow! Billie. You're killing me. Yeah. You gotta go. Don't take the pillow with you.

J: I still don't know, technically, what "laggie" means. Other than "lags behind others." Which is supposed to be the theme of this movie, but really it just seemed like someone was finally taking control of her life, which is important and can happen at any point, no matter how "adult" or "juvenile" one may seem.

M: What I wanna know is, why was it "laggies" plural. 'Cause everyone else seemed to be doing alright.

J: That's a really good f*cking point. And I have no good answer.
You're our spirit animal, Kiera.

M: [claps at Matt] It's not even 10 o'clock yet. Look alive.

M2: They're all laggies.

J: But why? Also, let's take a moment to recognize what an important weekend this is.

M: Oh yeah! I forgot again.

[indefinite pause while Billie plays]

J: Well? What is it?

M: [scrolls on phone] [holds up finger] It is BWAB's fourth? Birthday?

J: I'm almost positive it's the fourth.

M: I guess we could check. On the blog.

[BWAB checks]

J: Yep! It's our fourth anniversary. I know, I know, you're all shocked. Maybe next year we'll do something really special.

M: I'm just impressed we remembered this year.

J: That was all you.
But seriously, have you seen Old School?!

M: I feel like the guy that forgets his birthday... what is that from? Is that Anchorman? No. It's Old School. Still Will Ferrell. I love Old School.

J: Yeah... it's great... so Laggies...

M: Have you even seen Old School? It's a really great movie.

J: Like once? Probably?

M: I wouldn't say it's Luke Wilson's best movie, but I would say it's one of my favorite characters that he's played.

J: Very fair. What I need to know now is do you want to say anything else about either Laggies or our fourth anniversary? I still think this is weirdest, least-related title of any movie we've watched.

M: I would not disagree with that. I kept waiting for it to come around or be more apparent. Or maybe they just assumed it was already obvious if you're someone that uses the term "laggie"?

J: Matt looked it up, and apparently in Britain this movie was released with the title Say When, which still doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but makes more sense than Laggies.

We've all been there. Right? Right guys?
M: It seems totally flip-flopped. However, ahh, I don't really know how Say When makes that much more sense.

J: Exactly. It's like they tried to portray American twenty-somethings based on stereotype alone and surprise! It didn't work. Not that our movies do much better, this was just particularly obvious.

M: [nods] [looks at Billie] My back still hurts, Miss!

B: [appears unaffected]

J: So that about sums it up, yeah?

M: I daresay so.

J: Anything else BWAB should know?

M: Hopefully it won't be three months before our next post, but I make no promises!

J: Same. Totally same. We love you guys. [drinks more]