Monday, December 30, 2013


NOT Tremors. And one of the strangest titles
we've encountered thus far. We're hoping it
 means something better in Ireland.
M: To Grabbers? [lifts shot glass]

J: We should start this mother.

M: Yes. Starting the mother. [presses play] [turns up volume]

J: Oh yeah, crank that puppy.

M: Cranking the puppy.

J: I already can't breathe.

M: That's a good sign.

J: Welcome back to Blog with a Brogue! In honor of the movie we've just finished watching, we're listening to the 1996 album, The Grabbers. It's terrible. Like really bad. 

M: Until he started singing, it was okay! Not great, but decent. God, he's terrible! Let's listen to the Arctic Monkeys!

J: [grateful sigh] Listening now! So I have to say, this movie made my top 10, and I think BWAB's top 3. 

M: EASILY. [rolls over air mattress to grab can of Bud Light] Do we have to name-drop the brand? It's leftover party beer!

J: True and wonderful. The Bud Light has been named. May I add that we are also drinking Jameson, Bard's Hornsby's cider, and Free State beer. All in the name of Grabbers.

M: [laughs heartily] Jesus. In our defense, it's hard to watch this film and not feel some small inclination to have a beverage at hand.

Jenna's favorite character. The uptight-but-lovable
police woman. She's a perfect drunk!
J: It's worse than The World's End!

M: Yes! [nods]

J: In this film, recommended by none other than Papa Collins, the only way to survive the Grabbers, an alien race from the sea, is to maintain a blood alcohol level of at least .2. That sounds crazy, but we assure you, it was necessary.

M: Since you've mentioned The World's End... (God damn, the crack Cheetos. They're like grabbers. Friendly grabbers. They sit there and wait for you.) I feel compelled to comment on the similarities to Sean of the Dead, which I loved. However, ahh, no, I want to say Grabbers was better, but I can't. It's just different. Perhaps Shaun of the Dead has more of that silly-English-humor whereas Grabbers is maybe more distinctly Irish.

J: The cast certainly makes a difference in our appreciation of the two. There's no denying that Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are our spirit animals.

M: But they do not hold a candle to the Fletcher-guy! I don't even know his name, let alone his character-name!

J: It's not important. The point is that every single one of the characters in Grabbers is so distinctly, charismatically Irish that you can't help but love this movie for its sweet, well-intentioned hilarity.

M: I want to say that the subtleties are outstanding. [laughs] But that wouldn't be very subtle or outstanding!

J: Haha very true! Semantics strikes again. Who was your favorite character? Or top two?

Meredith's favorite character. The well-equipped
barman's wife.
M: Gawd. That's hard. I want to say the Fletcher-character. I love that that's what I'm calling him. Because he's delightfully Irish and just seems like somebody you know. But! The bar-keeper's wife and old-man Paddy are just fantastic. The one-liners abound.

J: Everyone in this movie plays exactly their part, no more, no less. There's only vaguely a main character, and even he doesn't necessarily win the most screen time. 

M: [nods] One thing I have to say, though. Ever since you mentioned that thing about the rating of women in film, whether or not there's any scene where there's one woman talking to another woman about something other than a man, I don't think this film passes.

J: Yes it does! The main female character speaks to the bar-keeper's wife about her room and the rental near the beginning of the movie. 

M: But just barely! Later on in the conversation she's telling her that "now's to book" if she wants a double instead of a single, etc. etc.! I just wanted to say "now's to book".

J: It's true. It's a technicality, because part of their conversation does involve a man and/or a relationship, but I think it gets by.

M: Yes, so maybe not very highly rated on that scale, but it flies.

J: Definitely. For the record, I have to state that both Meredith and I had trouble at one point or another understanding the absolutely glorious Irish brogue in this movie.

M: I feel like we sort of traded off, you translating, me translating, various portions. But it was, indeed, glorious. Perhaps, I dare say, the finest brogues we've yet heard. I went there. Or maybe that's just the Jameson.

J: I totally agree! Not because of the quality of movie necessarily, but because of the impressive variety of characters. We had everyone from the mainland professional, to the town drunk, to the marine biologist...

M: Not psychologist...

Old man Paddy! With a staple gun?!
J: To the barkeep, to his wife, to the priest, to the average elderly townsperson. Everyone was included and everyone was hilarious.

M: Mmhmm. It was also sufficiently suspenseful! It was a bit tense, there.

J: Truly! When I was trying to remember the name earlier today, all I could think to do was google "Irish comedy horror" and I tell you what, it popped right up.

M: Quite apt!

J: Folks, it's funny, clever, suspenseful...

M: And the scenery! Amazing.

J: We commented more than once about how we HAD to go to Ireland. And not just anywhere in Ireland. A small town.

M: Again, though, about the brogues. I believe they were in the west, on an island. And I daresay they spoke quite clearly for what I imagine one might sound like living in the west. Remember The Guard? Our very first blog post? If I remember correctly, that was also the west. It was quite difficult.

J: You're totally right! I wonder if we'd understand more now, or if that movie was just a perfect example of how truly esoteric a brogue can really be.

And there's the marine psychologist on the right!
M: A good experiment!

J: The unofficial point of this blog! 

M: [laughs] Oh right! We did have a point! I think... [reads the Jameson bottle] Did you know that John Jameson founded his distillery in Dublin in 1780?

J: John Jameson?!

M: 1780! I just wanted to point out that that's a long time ago!

J: Whiskey. Brought to you by Blog with a Brogue. Wait, no. The other way around.

M: I mean, yeah. Wait, before we're done... just because I thought it was funny enough to write down... can we just point out that you called the jukebox a jakeboard.

J: No! That's not it!

M: What?

J: I called it a jackboard!

M: I stand corrected.

J: Don't worry, you still come out on top on this one.

M: [laughs]

J: Seriously folks, one of our favorite movies, easily. There's aliens, drinking, romance, brogue, scenery, and a good storm to boot.

M: I legitimately, honestly recommend this one. And it's on Netflix! You don't even have to leave your house!

J: Seriously! This one's on us. Enjoy!

M: You're welcome!
"We're gonna need a bigger boat." 

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Brogues United

J: This is going to be intense... we might cry!

M: F*ck. I'm not drunk enough to watch this. I'm taking off my pants.

J: Do I have the play button? [hits play]

M: Based on real events. Great.

J: Sh*t.

M: Cheers!

J: [watches movie] His accent's different! (referring to David Tennant)

M: He's doing Manchester!

J: He is! It's not Dr. Who, and it's not Scottish... coooool...

M: Also, I love how English people sh*t on Wales. I don't get it. It looks like a lovely place.

J: "No Edwardian Clothes"!? What does that mean!?

M: I have no idea! No bourgeois clothes?
A bit posed, but still delightful. "Kitted out"
J: ...

M: This is the worst movie ever.

J: [nods sadly] There are way too many man-tears in this movie.

M: It's because it's a sports movie.

J: [sigh] If I weren't staring at a Liverpool flag right now, I might be a Manchester United fan after watching this.

M: [glares pointedly] I just feel like liking Man United is like liking the Yankees.

M2: Manchester actually make more money and are more popular world-wide than the Yankees.

M: Okay, so it's even worse than liking the Yankees.

J: I'm... I'm not a baseball fan.

Look! Dr. Who!
[music intensifies]

M: I'm going to turn this off, because I can't handle the music.

J: So Meredith. This was a bit of a departure from our usual fare.

M2: This was a downer. Wait, don't say that, because the plane went down.

J: Too late.

M: [shakes head at everyone] [burps loudly]

J: SO MEREDITH. How did you like this drama?

M: Well. Um.

M2: [snorts] Dot dot dot...

M: I really... um... well I really  just wanted to watch it because Finnick's in it. And because it was about football. But I guess I didn't really take into account the fact that it's really sad.

Oh, Finnick. How could you do this to us.
J: It WAS. And there was an incredible amount of foreshadowing and really intense music and it was just basically like, "Hey everybody, come see how sad this is!"

M: [laughs inappropriately heartily]

J: It was a beautiful story though, and one I'm glad that I know, given how exciting soccer (FOOTBALL) has become here in Kansas as of late. (Go Sporting!) There's just not much to say about it given how truly sad it was.

M2: It was no Damned United.

J: Wait, what?

M2: It's another football movie. I'm not saying that story wasn't as good or anything, I'm just saying it's a good movie. Michael Sheen's a better actor than the Dr. Who dude.

J: [shakes head maliciously]

M: Oh snap!

M2: If you guys want to be tacky and/or come off as Man United fans, you could sing the song.

M: Nope.

J: Lost again. THE POINT IS that this was a really moving, wonderful movie, and we're glad we watched it.

M: [laughs inappropriately again] I promise, it's a lot funnier from where I'm sitting. But seriously, it was a great film.

M2: You guys should, uh, I was gonna say... you guys should google whether or not Bobby's ginge. 'Cause I'm not sure. David Beckham's a wanker, but you know...

J: [googles Sir Bobby] Okay, he's sort of a ginger.

M2: Eh, he's more blonde. As a ginger, he's not.

Well done, Sir Bobby!
M: We should put something about the manager. Apparently he is actually Scottish, and Scottish in the movie.

J: He did not sound Scottish. He sounded Eastern European!

M: He sounded confused at best.

J: So I'm kind of done. I don't really know what else to say.

M: [nods] I thought we were done way back when...well, before Matt brought up Damned United. Can we put the trailer for Will at the end?!

J: [reaches for more snacks]

M: Oh! I thought of one more thing I was going to say! It's not really that important, but, I noticed as we were watching the movie that Finnick kinda looks like a British Matthew Lillard, but so much prettier.


M: Like a grown-up Matthew Lillard.

J: You're. So. Right. But Finnick, in all incarnations, is 100% better.

M: So much better. And British.

M2: [plays trailer for Will]

J: Oh my god how do you not own this movie?

M: We've never even seen it, we just watch the trailer sometimes.

M2: We just have to watch it sometimes and be like, "That's real. That's a real movie people made."

J: Our next movie will be: The Trip. It's been decided. Stay tuned!

M: Until then, here's a trailer for Will.