J: I totally sort of don't remember that. But also yes. Real divorced. Chris Pratt got all "I'm hunky now" and apparently that didn't work for them.
M: He's also, like, super religious.
M: I read that somewhere.
J: Well that sort of changes things.
J: So we watched this movie. Called I Give It a Year.
M: And It. Was. Bad.
|What's your name again?|
M: Is it even British? What's the brogue aspect? Rose Byrne? Is she Scottish?
J: I'm pretty sure the Wiki entry described as "a British movie" although I totally agree it was not a super typical BWAB movie.
M: Was everyone except for Anna Faris British? Or brogueing? Was Mini Driver doing her fake British thing? Is she British?
J: Sh*t. Now we have to Google some more. She's British!
|Turns out I hate you. I hate your face.|
M: Oh my god we have the same birthday. I never knew that. Never knew that.
J: So this movie revolves around a not-so-happily married couple named Josh and Nat.
J: They get married after a whirlwind romance and realize fairly quickly that they're not actually compatible in the long-term.
M: So, enter random attractive counterparts that are clearly better matches and chaos ensues.
|You are a shameful cliché Simon Baker.|
J: Very accurate description. Anna Faris and Simon Baker arrive...
M: "Simon Baker" is fun to say with an accent... just sayin'...
J: They are initially set up with each other despite being clearly destined for the other couple. There are various outlandish romance scenes, including lingerie, doves, a violin, oysters, pool, and sushi. Isn't there sushi at the dinner party at the end? Like fish? In a tank?
|Anna Faris, you are not a good brunette.|
J: Like the fish?
M: No, like, the whole thing. The whole movie.
J: [has to pee]
M: [gets another drink]
J: Ahh, trite. I get it. Yes. To that end, let me introduce our follow-up movie, The Decoy Bride...
M: Fellow? Follow? I thought you were going to say fellow. Like "our fellow movie..." I'm sorry.
J: So this movie... well... is our fellow... and features my favorite! David Tennant. I admit to having already watched this movie, but it was literally the only suggestion I had after the disaster that was I Give It a Year.
M: Um. It was also a movie.
J: Okay, so I actually liked this movie? Question mark?
M: No. To be fair, it was worlds above I Give It a Year. We should just start calling it IGIAY.
J: Done and done.
M: As in idgaf. About IGIAY.
J: God, so true. So The Decoy Bride was cute and quaint and featured an awkward but endearing female lead (aka me) who eventually gets to fall in love with David Tennant (aka the best Doctor ever).
M: Aka David Tennant.
J: Yes. Shut up.
M: Were they all Scottish?
J: You know... I can't remember exactly where it took place, but I'm pretty sure yes. David Tennant is actually Scottish but in this movie, I'm pretty sure he played a generic British guy.
M: That's a shame.
J: You're telling me! His Scottish accent is adorable.
M: Aren't they all?
|NOT CREEPY. NOT CREEPY AT ALL.|
J: I mean, maybe. This movie is again about a pair of lovers, intending to be wed, who aren't ultimately the best matches for one another. What a weird theme...
M: [laughs] Fate knows best.
J: God damn. Such wise words from M today.
M: I should write rom coms.
M: [laughs] If only!
J: So this movie involves a famous writer and a famous actress getting engaged and trying to marry in the most secretive environment possible. Unfortunately they are thwarted again and again...
M: Thwarted. Great word.
J: [nods] So to Scotland they go! Is it Wales or Scotland?
M: I have no idea. Sheep.
J: Wiki says Scotland.
|Wait, is that a phone booth? Why isn't it blue? Doctor?|
M: Wiki knows all.
J: All hail Wiki.
M: [laughs] *praises Wiki*
J: So the movie was real neat.
M: It was lovely scenery. David Tennant included.
J: Aww! So David Tennant and the famous actress (Alice Eve) ultimately become separated due to attempts at discretion and David Tennant accidentally marries our heroine...
M: Other lady.
J: Right. [googles] Kelly Macdonald.
M: What else is she in? Click on it... She's in Trainspotting? Intermission! That's where I know her from.
J: I think I saw that...
M: We blogged about it. No big deal.
J: Dammit. I totally remember that...
|I take thee, ghost...|
M: Irish classic. Cillian Murphy? Colin Farrell? The lady with the unibrow? Wait, not a unibrow... a mustache.
J: What on earth!? Wait, the movie with the ketchup?
M: The ketchup? Who has the ketchup?
J: In the store where they worked, the brown sauce?
M: Oh my god. I completely forgot about that.
J: Somehow, that's the only part I remembered.
M: [mind blown] Somebody gets hit in the head with a can. The tin can.
|WHAT ON EARTH IS HAPPENING HERE. WHO AM I.|
M: She's really great.
J: I actually recommend this one. I think it's super cute.
M: [nods] I've certainly seen worse. I've most certainly seen worse. I... I have to pee again. Do you think people would deliver food to us here? I'll be right back.
J: Here being the Taproom. And yes, yes I think they would.
M: IN CONCLUSION...
J: We watched some movies. They were not so good and sort of good.
M: I have British things to say!
|I love you. But mostly, I love your shaggy jacket.|
Your shaggy, shaggy jacket.
M: Number one. The new Arctic Monkeys album. Is fantastic. And I can't stop listening to it.
M: Number two. England is in the "final four" of the World Cup for the first time in 28 years.
J: [makes incredulous face]
M: I know, right. It's amazing.
J: Go forth and British-ize!
M: British out?
J: Whatever. Embrace your inner Benedict Cumberbatch.
M: Bendyback Cucumberpatch.
J: That's the one. BWAB loves you, till next time!
|Umm... I'm so sorry you had to read this. |
I'm David Tennant. And that's the news.