Monday, March 24, 2014

In Brogue

M: It's exciting to get suggestions. It's almost like people care!

J: Have you finished that leftover cider yet?

M: I have not. I'm getting close.

J: Are we doing shots?

M: Um... um... I'm going to go see what I have. That will determine. [laughs] JESUS. We have Kaluah, Everclear, or Jameson.

J: Um... I know you're not supposed to shoot Everclear, but what if I added... WE added some to our beers?

M: [makes appalled, terrified face]

M2: God, you guys' decision making is poor.

M: I'm gonna vote that no one should drink Everclear, ever. Clearly.


M: It's just organic, it just came out.

J: Well then. How are we going to finish it?

M: Finish the Everclear?

J: [nods]

M: We could get some more gummy bears.

J: Oh yeah, we did use Everclear with those...
Lucy stares at Tom bewildered,
as he ponders an email he sent earlier that day.

M: It did not work. I still blame the bears, though.

J: Damn bears. Always ruining everything. Well, I don't want to waste your Jameson on BWAB again, so maybe we'll just stick with das beer.

M: Matt, would you like a shot of Jameson? No?

[discussion of Harrison Ford in the 90s]

[M2 starts Terminator 2]

J: So we have to talk about this movie eventually.

M: Lemme drink some more.

J: I hate to say it everyone, but this didn't quite live up to our year-old hopes.

M2: I feel like Terminator 2 is trying to talk to you about your blog. "Do you even care?" "You're wasting your time!"

M: I had a feeling that it might fall short. But everything I read online, the director, who I think also wrote it, no one had anything but really great things to say about it.

J: Admittedly, the style was sort of ground-breaking in terms of the way the actors were prepped and the way it was filmed. Plot-wise, though, we thought it had a few holes.

M: So, I've been thinking about it. And I really think that the entire moral of the whole film...
Alpha male-ing.

J: Bold words...

M: Is that if you even dare to contemplate sneaking to a remote hotel to have premarital sex with a man you just met two weeks before, you will be tortured and possibly killed.

J: There was a very strong force keeping them from getting to the hotel, that's for sure. Whether it was god or a madman, we'll never know. That's a lie. We know. But we're not telling you. Actually, we had a big argument over the purpose of the third character (there were really only three). If you end up watching it, you should really weigh in. A couple of drinks are on the line.

M: I do like that there were only three characters. I think that's the mark of, if not a good film, oftentimes a good script maybe? Or at least strong actors? It lends a sort of theatrical air.

J: We saw this with Retreat, which was similarly disturbing yet difficult to forget.

M: They had Billy Elliot, though. These guys got stuck with Branson.

J: Poor Branson.

M: Sweet, sweet Branson.

J: Interesting the similarities, now that I think about it.

M: Ooh, dare I ask, which one you liked better, or why?

J: Hmm... I do think I have to say Retreat, simply because of the history between the main two characters. It gave the film a depth it maybe didn't deserve but definitely needed to make it as a horror-drama. In Fear was more of an experimental horror film, something like the Blair Witch Project, but much more interesting.

M: [nods] I would have to agree. And the ending of Retreat was absolutely more satisfying than the ending of the Fear. The In Fear. Whatever. Marky Mark's in Fear.
Are you even looking at the road?

M2: Have you ever seen Cape Fear? [laughs]

J: I don't even remember the end of Retreat, which makes my recommendation that much stronger.

M: [laughs] [drinks cider]

J: Should we reveal the cool thing about the way it was filmed?

M: Um, I think it is sufficient to say that the "Making Of" special feature is worth watching. Maybe even more worthwhile than the film itself. More interesting, perhaps.

J: I hit play on the special features out of desperation to understand what the hell was going on at the end of the movie. It is infuriatingly unsatisfying.

[everyone watches Terminator 2]

M: Right.

[Sarah Conner pulls some sh*t]

M: [laughs]

Mmm corn syrup. Tasty, tasty corn syrup.
J: The worst part of all of this is that we were looking forward - so much - to this movie, that it was almost inevitably not going to be as good as we hoped.

M: On that note, where does BWAB go from here?

J: We've actually had a couple recommendations, including a show about a cranky, alcoholic bookshop owner and an old movie with James MacAvoy that I've been meaning to see for ages. We may attempt one of those!

M: Or both of those! Any closing thoughts about the film, Jenna?

J: I did really like the actors and the way they portrayed the characters, even when they made really stupid horror-movie decisions. And I would certainly watch more movies in the "Irish horror film" genre, provided we can find some.

M: It has been good so far. Grabbers was especially entertaining. But this one really wasn't all that bad, all things considered.

J: Not at all, just more "art-house" than I was expecting.

["Come with me if you want to live."]

[Terminator 2 continues]

M2: Now it gets all slow. I kinda just wanna see some sh*t get wild.

[More Terminator 2]

M2: I could do without this.

J: We've only got 10 minutes till Jimmy Fallon. We've gotta wrap this up!

M: I'm so glad you remembered!

J: Bottom line, the brogue was great, the movie was thought-provoking and pretty frightening.

M: Branson was lovely. And creepy.

J: That smile... it's haunting me...

M: Until next time!

Do you want to live?

Friday, March 21, 2014

The Angels' Brogue

J: I'm just really tired of wine.

M: You should put that as the first line.

J: Already done, my friend. How's that pizza?

M: [thumbs up] Thumbs up!

J: So ages and ages ago, we watched this great movie called The Angels' Share. I keep wanting to type The Angles' Share, but that would be incorrect.

M: Like Hot Fuzz, where they call him Sargent Angle. I've only seen that movie a couple times. [sarcasm] Anyways!

J: The movie is definitely worth seeing and definitely not our usual fare. It started as a...

M: Insert lame synopsis here.

You're in trouble now, laddie.
J: BUT REALLY, it started as a heart-felt drama about a young guy from Scotland trying to turn his life around after he finds out that his girlfriend is pregnant. After nearly going back to jail, he ends up befriending his community service cohorts. At this point, the movie turns into...

M: A heist film?

J: Precisely. I couldn't believe the comedic turn of events, but...

M: But there we were, watching another heist film!

J: It didn't lose me. It was still really entertaining and still chock-full of seriously tough brogue.

We are friends!
M: We scoffed when we noticed the subtitles at the beginning, but shortly thereafter, it was extremely evident that they were absolutely necessary.

J: I was so ashamed.

[brief interlude in which we discuss the price of plane tickets to Chicago]

M: Anyways! Basically, this is a really excellent, very entertaining film with above-average brogue. I highly recommend it. Watch it with your mum. [shrugs]

J: Seriously, this is not for the faint of heart if you disdain subtitles.

M: Or Scottish people.

J: [dies] Seriously though, this is a fascinating... no, I don't want to say fascinating... dramatic... no, not dramatic... not educational...

M: You're reaching. C-cautionary? Maybe?

J: It's a look at Scotland.

M: Improbable? With kilts? Words, I'm just saying words now.

J: They do wear kilts!

M: They do indeed.

J: What I was trying to say is that it's one of the more thoroughly Scottish movies that we've watched.

M: [chokes on pizza] Coherent! I thought you were going to say it was one of the more coherent movies we've watched.

J: It held together pretty well, albeit in two very distinct pieces. But as you say, excellent movie, worth watching, and you get to learn a bit about whiskey too.

M: I thought it was scotch.

J: The end.