Monday, January 27, 2014

Young Adam's Brogue

J: But who's Adam? Matt's right. It has to be something to do with the fact that the barge is named "Atlantic Eve."

M: That's what I'm thinking, but I'm still not sure how.

J: So in a Biblical sense, what would a young Adam represent? An Adam without Eve? An Adam who doesn't know God? Male selfishness, fueled by erotic desire?

M: Whoa, but... Adam didn't know sin until Eve. So...

J: So this is young Adam, after Eve but before the fall?

M: So, pre-fruit?

J: There was no fruit in this movie. Just lots of awkward Scottish sex. And cigarettes.

M: Too true.

J: And one very lusty male protagonist. [opens champagne bottle]

[Champagne flies everywhere. Cork hits Jenna atop head. No one is unscathed.]

M: Well, that was interesting...

J: Certainly not, um, a, uh... what am I trying to say... not a metaphor for our "lusty protagonist."

M: Quite appropriate.

J: Like, hit me right in the head. After bouncing off your ceiling. Thanks Christmas-champagne!

M: That's what you get for looking in the clearance section.

J: You know that was like $3, right?

M: Well-spent.

J: Worth every penny.

M: Clearly. So the movie... What did you think?

J: Basically, I felt bad for anyone Joe came in to contact with. He's not a stand-up guy, and he's driven by some grief-related sexual tension.

Shall I kill you now? Or later?
M: For the sake of our faithful readers, won't you try to provide a brief synopsis?

J: We meet Joe working on a coal barge in Glasgow, Scotland. He and Les discover a young woman floating in the Atlantic. The rest of the movie devolves into a series of flashbacks and Joe's torrid affairs with married women. The movie ends with the trial of the man accused of killing Cathie (the young woman found in the ocean). I would say no one wins.

M: I mean, Joe might win?

J: If anyone wins, it's Joe, which is unfortunate. I prefer to think that he's haunted by the ghosts of those he's wronged. But, that's hard to tell. He seems so shameless.

M: [laughs] Sorry, I was just thinking about the cork hitting your head again. It was like, dead center of your head. It was amazing.

J: I just can't believe you saw it. Popped me right on the noggin.

M: Just out of the corner of my eye. I still can't quite believe it.

J: That's the only thing that could have happened to make this blog post OK.

M: Well, yeah.

J: What did you think of the movie?

M: Well, I'm debating getting another beer. No, but seriously. The Scottish brogues were difficult, at best. However, I found myself translating more than a few times. I'm quite proud. Also, I kept waiting for Mr. MacGregor to burst in to song from behind his typewriter.

The hills are alive... with the sound of music?
J: It's only natural. The movies are only like 3 years apart.

M: Maybe we should have just watched Moulin Rouge...

J: Touche! Although, personally, I absolutely loved the Scottish brogues. It may be my favorite accent. I just kept thinking of Mrs. Hughes, and the family I stayed with in Scotland. I want to go back...

M: Yeah, there were even a few, although brief moments, of lovely countryside.

J: Yeah, mostly we were on that nasty barge, though.

M: I just imagined you saying that with a Scottish accent. It was lovely.

J: Do go on...

The lovely Scottish countryside.
And that nasty barge.
M: That's all I've got. Well, any closing thoughts?

J: We shouldn't pick movies out of desperation anymore.

M: Right. It is worth noting that we grabbed this one quickly, and at random, from the shelves at Liberty Hall.

J: Very quickly. Very random.

M: That being said, I do enjoy the chance to see Mr. MacGregor in action. And if you've not yet seen it, I'd like to take a moment to heartily recommend The Long Way Round.

J: I'd like to point out that Meredith just typed "wong" instead of "long." And she's not wrong.

M: It was the past tense, perhaps, of something seen in Young Adam. Or it rhymes? It's not important...

J: Also this movie, not family friendly. We've already talked about the sex. The nudity perhaps is a given.

M: But seriously, Long Way Round. Long Way Down. Watch 'em both...

J: Wong Way Round?

M: [clears throat] But seriously, you'll never look at Mr. MacGregor the same way again. It's fantastic.
In case you were wondering, I also ride motorcycles.

J: The moral of the story is that at the end of our review of Young Adam, we're leaving you with a recommendation for a totally different movie.

M: TWO totally different movies. Do with that what you will.

J: And to all a good night!

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Brogueshead Revisited

K: Oh Jaysus!

M: [laughs] So the best quote of the book wasn't even in the movie! The two best quotes did not make the film. The third best quote, however, did make the film. About the wine being like a shy gazelle.

K: Oh, that was good.

M: Pretty brilliant.

J: So what were the two best quotes of the book?

M: Well. The second-best quote is the part where Sebastian asks if they ought to be drunk every night, and Charles says, "Yes, I think so," or something to that effect.

J: Naturally. I think you even sent me a picture of that part.

M: I did. It was that good. But the first best quote that I believe ties, at least for me, the whole story together is where Charles admits that Sebastien was always the frontrunner.

J: Oh, my!

K: Ohh, my!

J: In case you all are confused, which I am regularly, we're talking about Brideshead Revisited, the British film featuring Matthew Goode and whats-his-name.

The gang in simpler times.
M: I dunno. Q.

J: Yes, that one. It's a tragic and...

M: I thought the book was quite funny.

K: They lost that somewhere.

M: This film took itself far too seriously.

J: It was really depressing.

K: Quite depressing.

M: Sorry guys.

J: I tried to drink enough, but I'm just sad and sober now.

K: Yeeeeah...
Dumbledore stops by for a visit. No Forbidden Forest for you.

M: [sips beer]

J: It was gorgeous film, full of quintessential Britishisms and lovely countryside scenes.

M: And haughtiness!

J: Absolutely. I do imagine that the book would have been much more fun to explore than the film.

M: I'd already like to read it again, actually, after seeing this. As Katie mentioned, I think they took some liberties.

J: And what prompted you to read in the first place?

K: [laughs] Yes, Mere!
Emma, Matthew, and Brogueshead.

M: That's really not important.

K: Isn't it though?

M: It's this guy. Maybe he's in a band. I don't know. I don't care!

K: [laughs] [sighs] How long was that? I feel like we watched it forever!

M: [laughs] How many minutes of my life will I not get back? [mimes playing piano music] It's beautiful!

K: Lovely!

J: So the movie... one of the main themes was obviously...

M: That religion ruins everything!

Who are you really looking at here, Matthew?
K: Yeeeah....

J: Seriously! This movie was full of lives and happinesses ruined because of the rigidity of Catholicism and the mindset of those who follow it strictly.

[utter silence]

[piano music continues]

M: So...

K: Anyways...

M: [sighs] [sips beer]

J: So the accents were lovely...

M: Quite!
Matthew, er... Charles... visits Morocco.

J: But I can't say anyone really needs to watch this movie unless you...

K: Maybe read the book.

M: Yes!

J: If you're looking for a sappy dramatic British fix.

K: A downer.

J: If Downton is just too peppy for you... check out Brideshead Revisited.

K: Or don't.

J: I shan't be doing so again.

M: [dies]


M: I'm so sorry!

K: [shakes fists] EZRAAAAA!!!!!

Sebastian and Aloysius say goodnight from Oxford!

Thursday, January 16, 2014

BWAB Reviews: The Cornerstones!

M: Welcome back to BWAB's special double feature edition! That's right; one week, two posts!

J: Today, for something completely different...

M: That's right. BWAB is stepping in to new territory.

J: We're very frightened. Much like that raccoon you chased earlier.

M: It was investigatory!! I thought it was a cat!

J: So not a cat...

M: Anyways... we are gathered here tonight to talk about some people we met on Twitter. I use "met" very loosely, as you may have guessed. They're called The Cornerstones, a West London 4-piece alternative band.

J: Four very sturdy men. Mens' names. Richard, Daniel, Karl (with a K), and Ryan...

M: Didn't you date guys with those names? Sorry. Too soon. It's the whiskey. I love you.

J: I don't think I've ever dated a Ryan...

M: But a Karl with a K?

J: Technically, also no. But there's always time...

M: We can only hope. So yeah. They're a band and they play music...

J: Quite good music!

M: Yes! We did some digging about the internets. Multiple nets. We visited their SoundCloud, their Myspace, their Facebook page... even some YouTube videos! Our conclusion...

J: I would really like to see this band live. Their musicianship is really stellar, and I feel like they know how to work a crowd.

M: They can work your crowd! Sorry. The whiskey, again. But yes, I don't disagree. We've been sampling a few of their tracks on and off the past week and they've got some catchy ditties, I must say. One got stuck in my head on the drive to work this morning, even.

J: If you've ever seen Kings of Leon live...

M: Which we have... I'm going again in March, b*tches.

J: They have a very similar... is trance rock a thing?

M: [googles] I'm gonna say yes, but I don't think that is what this is...

J: But you know what I mean. Sort of a steady, repetitive alternative rock beat.

M: Yes!

J: Something you can bang your head to.

M: Yes. Well put. Although, I was gonna say that a "steady, repetitive beat" sums up most of rock music, but no, I totally get what you mean. I'd have to say that their songs cover quite a spectrum.

[soup break]

[20 minute discussion about raccoons]

J: That soup smells delicious, and I'm not even hungry...

M2: I don't know that I am either...

M: Who would you say that this band sounds like? We realize you're sick, so... no pressure.
Richard, Daniel, Karl (with a K), and Ryan,
in no particular order.

J: Except in your head.

M: Sinus jokes! I love it!

[BWAB high five]

M: So, Matt threw out The Oranges Band, and wow. He's good with the references. Um, I think we also said upon a first listen of The Cornerstones' "Smack Me in the Face" that it wouldn't have felt out of place in Velvet Goldmine. Among Velvet Goldmine? Around those guys? Matt also name-dropped Beaten Awake.

J: Include the fact that you both previously worked at a record store and have some claim to music knowledge.

M: One of us perhaps more than the other. Anyways... now we're listening to The Jam. It's... entertaining. I'm mentioning The Jam, as it is listed as one of their 'Top 8' on their Myspace page. The moral of this story is that The Cornerstones are a...

M2: Ironic in name, as there's usually only one 'cornerstone' to a building.

M: Well, yes.

M2: Where are they from? Chelsea? Westham?

J: West London. The bottom line for me is that I liked The Cornerstones and I wish I could afford a plane ticket to London to see them live, get their autograph, and/or throw my panties at the stage.

M: Scandalous! But yes, I hope they make it stateside to our lovely town. We have many...

J: Leather-bound books...

M: ...fine establishments at which they could play their songs for us. It would be lovely.

J: Loverly.

M: Until then, we invite all of our faithful readers to check out The Cornerstones on SoundCloud,

J: Or YouTube!

M: Or Myspace!

J: Or Facebook!

M: And of course, Twitter, and let us know what you think!

J: Till next time...

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Brogue-an & Brydon

M: Mmm, this beer is different. Uh, this cider is different.

J: Than Strongbow?

M: [waves to M2] Are you gonna blog with us Matty?

M2: I'm just gonna do accents of you two. As for the movie, I just like how they constantly repeat stuff, like they're constantly in a movie. Like the battle thing, it's like they're trying to get the best take. It's funny, because they both wish they were better entertainers, so the joke is that we'll just do 100 takes of ourselves trying to be funny, because we can't get a role in Hollywood. I think it's a well-thought out movie, but then there's also some good scenes of just friends hanging out together.

M: You've got to talk slower!

J: I've got most of it!

M2: I wish I could do Roger Moore. "Moneh Penneh." And also, when I first saw the movie, when they say "I couldn't get off..."

J: I did that too! It took me a second.

M2: "If you can't get off, because you ate too much cheese..."

M: But it's getting to sleep!

J: I thought there were only one or two scenes when Steve Coogan was genuinely responding to how funny Rob Brydon was. The laughter looked real and he seemed legitimately amused.

M2: Yeah, he almost cracks a smile when the waiter brings them something and it's innuendo-esque, and they just look at each other like, 'Oh my god.' How would you not laugh? It's also interesting that Rob Brydon is the one that Steve Coogan looks to for all the humor, but he's such a passive guy.

M: He's actually looking for reception, but it looks
like he's taking a selfie.
M: I'm just trying not to say much, so you can keep up with that guy.

J: I think in this movie Rob represented someone who is...

M2: Autisic.

M: [laughs]

J: [laughs]

M2: Remember that scene?

J: NOW I do. What I was saying was that Rob was the representation of a healthy attitude towards life, self, family, etc., which is more of a passive acceptance of the way things work, rather than trying so hard to make them happen exactly the way you want them to.

M: I believe Mr. Coogan said this was a failure or inability to acknowledge true reality, but clearly I think it's the opposite.

J: Those scenes were really painful. Like he was an overgrown adolescent unable to put his own drama aside for... it's cliche, but for the more important things in life. And I'm 28.

M: [laughs]

Making friends by the river.
J: And childless. Also single.

M: Details.

M2: You both sound trapped in a metaphor.

J: Is that your next single?

M2: "I'm not condoning that you use heroin, I'm just saying..."

J: Got to the quotes just in time on that one!

M2: You mean the inverted commas?

J: Christ. We haven't even told them what this is about.

M: It's not important. I mean, you could try.

J: Long story short, two comedians take a food trip across the English countryside...

M: [interjects] The north.

J: ...meant as a romantic week-long getaway for Steve Coogan and his girlfriend, but ends up being a buddy-comedy with his friend Rob Brydon.

M2: "We ride at 10! Ish..."

M: "Sleep well, my brothers and my sisters, but not with my sister. Leave my sister out of it!" You can't type all this! They have to see it!

J: The accents in this movie were hilarious. Not-at-all subtle, and repeated often enough that even if you missed it the first time, you'll probably get it again later.

M2: What's funny is that they're trying to imitate other people from England, from the Isles, but they both use it as an excuse to tell each other what a piss-poor job they're doing.

M: Where are we at? Matt talking too much?

M2: I'm just trying to summon my inner Rob Brydon. I like how he can't stop himself from doing impressions at Steve's parents' house.

Fancy food stare-off.
J: The thing is, I didn't think Rob talked too much at all. In fact, I thought this movie spent way too much time with Steve. That being said, Steve's the main character. And he's kind of a douche.

M: [nods] Yeah.

M2: The funeral sequence was pretty rough...

M: Yeeeah...

J: That was rough.

M2: I think Steve Coogan set this movie up so that he would seem that way.

M: I don't know how he could not know that that would happen.

J: [tries goofy voice]

M: We're all going to go home and do that, stand in front of mirrors and try voices. And what I said earlier! If we don't end up to be Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, this is an excellent second alternative.

J: I dunno, I don't want to be an asshole and you're clearly Rob Brydon.

M: Type that!

J: Typed!

(insert 10-minute discussion of the various life philosophies represented in the film)

M: Basically, we've watched a very fantastic film.

M2: And as someone who just viewed it for the second time, it's even better.

M: I literally cried with laughter.

J: I enjoyed it thoroughly, as evidenced by my hearty guffaws from the other couch.

"What did you  just say?"
(conversation devolves into cookie sheet massacres and melting plastic)

M2: And antennas.

M: Antennas are plastic right?

M2: All things melted.

M: I believe that's a poem! If I were English I'd recite it to you.

J: Did you just say Engrish?

M: No! I was just channeling Rob Brydon... that being said, I wonder if when Rob Brydon talks, he has trouble finding his voice because he's so all over the map. He's always shifting about. I can relate to that; I don't talk enough.

J: You can relate to a short, Welsh, comedian?

M: [laughs] I've done worse!

J: And that, folks, is our disjointed review...

M: [points] Wait. Can I just say... [inebriation] People need to watch this movie. It's on Netflix. It's hilarious. It's fantastic. Watch it twice.

M2: Three times is nice.

J:... of The Trip! Just listen to the lady. She told ya straight. BWAB out.

M2: Thank god.