Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Brogues United

J: This is going to be intense... we might cry!

M: F*ck. I'm not drunk enough to watch this. I'm taking off my pants.

J: Do I have the play button? [hits play]

M: Based on real events. Great.

J: Sh*t.

M: Cheers!

J: [watches movie] His accent's different! (referring to David Tennant)

M: He's doing Manchester!

J: He is! It's not Dr. Who, and it's not Scottish... coooool...

M: Also, I love how English people sh*t on Wales. I don't get it. It looks like a lovely place.

J: "No Edwardian Clothes"!? What does that mean!?

M: I have no idea! No bourgeois clothes?
A bit posed, but still delightful. "Kitted out"
J: ...

M: This is the worst movie ever.

J: [nods sadly] There are way too many man-tears in this movie.

M: It's because it's a sports movie.

J: [sigh] If I weren't staring at a Liverpool flag right now, I might be a Manchester United fan after watching this.

M: [glares pointedly] I just feel like liking Man United is like liking the Yankees.

M2: Manchester actually make more money and are more popular world-wide than the Yankees.

M: Okay, so it's even worse than liking the Yankees.

J: I'm... I'm not a baseball fan.

Look! Dr. Who!
[music intensifies]

M: I'm going to turn this off, because I can't handle the music.

J: So Meredith. This was a bit of a departure from our usual fare.

M2: This was a downer. Wait, don't say that, because the plane went down.

J: Too late.

M: [shakes head at everyone] [burps loudly]

J: SO MEREDITH. How did you like this drama?

M: Well. Um.

M2: [snorts] Dot dot dot...

M: I really... um... well I really  just wanted to watch it because Finnick's in it. And because it was about football. But I guess I didn't really take into account the fact that it's really sad.

Oh, Finnick. How could you do this to us.
J: It WAS. And there was an incredible amount of foreshadowing and really intense music and it was just basically like, "Hey everybody, come see how sad this is!"

M: [laughs inappropriately heartily]

J: It was a beautiful story though, and one I'm glad that I know, given how exciting soccer (FOOTBALL) has become here in Kansas as of late. (Go Sporting!) There's just not much to say about it given how truly sad it was.

M2: It was no Damned United.

J: Wait, what?

M2: It's another football movie. I'm not saying that story wasn't as good or anything, I'm just saying it's a good movie. Michael Sheen's a better actor than the Dr. Who dude.

J: [shakes head maliciously]

M: Oh snap!

M2: If you guys want to be tacky and/or come off as Man United fans, you could sing the song.

M: Nope.

J: Lost again. THE POINT IS that this was a really moving, wonderful movie, and we're glad we watched it.

M: [laughs inappropriately again] I promise, it's a lot funnier from where I'm sitting. But seriously, it was a great film.

M2: You guys should, uh, I was gonna say... you guys should google whether or not Bobby's ginge. 'Cause I'm not sure. David Beckham's a wanker, but you know...

J: [googles Sir Bobby] Okay, he's sort of a ginger.

M2: Eh, he's more blonde. As a ginger, he's not.

Well done, Sir Bobby!
M: We should put something about the manager. Apparently he is actually Scottish, and Scottish in the movie.

J: He did not sound Scottish. He sounded Eastern European!

M: He sounded confused at best.

J: So I'm kind of done. I don't really know what else to say.

M: [nods] I thought we were done way back when...well, before Matt brought up Damned United. Can we put the trailer for Will at the end?!

J: [reaches for more snacks]

M: Oh! I thought of one more thing I was going to say! It's not really that important, but, I noticed as we were watching the movie that Finnick kinda looks like a British Matthew Lillard, but so much prettier.


M: Like a grown-up Matthew Lillard.

J: You're. So. Right. But Finnick, in all incarnations, is 100% better.

M: So much better. And British.

M2: [plays trailer for Will]

J: Oh my god how do you not own this movie?

M: We've never even seen it, we just watch the trailer sometimes.

M2: We just have to watch it sometimes and be like, "That's real. That's a real movie people made."

J: Our next movie will be: The Trip. It's been decided. Stay tuned!

M: Until then, here's a trailer for Will.

No comments:

Post a Comment