Thursday, November 21, 2013

St. Brogian's

J: In the Firefly universe, a companion is like a prostitute but not a prostitute. She's like a prostitute, but she's respected.

M: [laughs] [types furiously]

J: Ok, I'll type it from here.

M: That's good, because I can't spell 'companion.'

J: Oh, I thought you said 'St. Trinian's.'

M: I can spell 'St. Trinian's!'

J: Wait, am I spelling it wrong?

M: No, I think you've got it! For the record, I tried to look up St. Trinian. I don't think it's a real saint.

J: Really?!

M: really. I didn't look very hard.

J: Well I'm gonna look tomorrow. If I remember.

M: It's very important.

J: OKAY. So Meredith. Give me a brief play-by-play of your reaction while watching this... how do I say... unconventional British heist movie?

M: Well. It started off a bit like 'Princess Diaries' meets a PG-13 rating with a great deal of British campy-ness thrown in there.

Heisting art.
J: Actually, that's a pretty damn accurate description. I literally didn't know what to make of this movie when it started. Absolutely not within any realm of normality or predictability.

M: Luckily for us, however, it quickly transitioned into a genre with which we are very familiar, the British art heist.

J: Prior to beginning Blog With a Brogue, I truly had to no idea that the British valued their art so highly that they had to frequently mock the protection they bestowed upon those priceless pieces via tasteless heist movies.

M; [laughs] Indeed!

J: This is probably the third or fourth campy art heist movie we've watched within the last six months.

M: The art aspect does... shit... what's the word... does elevate the otherwise...uhh... otherwise... campy.... [laughs] I want to say illegitimate, but that' not the word... the wine is strong with this one, not that I've seen 'Star Wars'...

J: Soon to be remedied, dear readers!

M: As a disclaimer, I have seen 'Star Wars,' but I was like, 7, so it doesn't really matter.
Ms. Everett, you are just delightful.

J: Well, we're gonna watch it again. Spoilers, mother f*ckers.

M: Goodness!

J: You're right, you're right. We have a lot of younger readers.

M: Do we have any readers? Dear readers... show yourselves...

J: Naked. No, wait.

M: That escalated quickly. Wait, weren't we going to do another food drive? The holidays are coming, and BWAB cares.

J: We do! And we will! We're still working out the details (heads-up, Liberty Hall!), but we hope to be sending some more information your way soon regarding a much-anticipated 'Star Wars' and/or other Christmas movie watch-a-thon and food drive.

M: Yes. All details forthcoming in good time.

J: So let's think about 'St. Trinian's' just for a moment more. The brogues were actually pretty thick in a  number of places. The English captions were on when we started in, and we soon realized why.

M: While Rupert Everett was surely the star of the... film, I guess... I certainly missed more than a phrase or two here and there. His posh...

J: Brit-speak, or whatever...

Oh hello Mr. Self. You're very... dashing...
M: Yes! Exactly that. And can we talk about similarities between Colin Firth and Bill Self?

J: I was BLOWN AWAY when you said that, because ohmigosh, it's so true. As you said earlier, they have the same effortless air of superiority...

M: All while maintaining an intense likability.

J: Intense. It's true.

M: God, he even winked. Like involuntarily.

J: One of the funnier moments in this mild train-wreck of a movie.

Oh hey, Colin. Watcha thinkin' about?
M: But it had such legitimate talent, Colin Firth and Mr. Everett and so many other people that we spent the entire movie trying to determine how else we knew them... from what we knew them... damn.

J: Like Stephen Frye! He's an amazing philosopher and actor, and there he was, playing a bit part in the campy girl-school art-heist daddy-issues cross-dressing flick that is St. Trinian's.

M: That's perfect.

J: But back to Colin Firth! This movie had numerous not-so-subtle but still-hilarious references to Colin Firth's turn in 'Pride and Prejudice'. For anyone who hasn't seen the six-hour BBC production, I highly recommend watching before or without watching 'St. Trinian's.'

M: I, personally, would like to watch said six-hour adaptation whilst participating in a certain drinking game that I have heard talk of. Just sayin'. Call me.

J: It's a commitment. But it's worth it. Granted, I only made it through the first half before I fell asleep, so obviously, my work is ahead of me, too.

Thank god for you, Stephen.
M: That being said, what's next for BWAB? Where will we go from here? [giggles into wine glass]

J: Well, there is a sequel to 'St. Trinian's'...

M: Oh, jesus.

J: He won't be with us during the next viewing.

M: Who?

J: Jesus.

M: [wheezes] Can we watch 'Music From Another Room Again'? Oh, sh*t, I think Jude Law's in that! Oh, does he do an American accent? No, I think he's British in it!

J: Yeah, because imagine the way he says 'afterbirth'!

M: [dies laughing on the couch] God, you're so right! [laughs] That's brilliant! This is how I know you're a genius. [continues laughing hysterically] Oh, jesus, which is apparently my go-to, wine-drunk phrase. My apologies.

J: Bottom line, this movie was weird, unrealistic, confusing, cheesy, predictably, and...

M: Art-heisty...

J: I was going to say star-studded, but that's fine.

M: Ah. [laughs]

J: It's worth a watch....

M: Is it?

J: Ahh, good point. I was going say if you have nothing better going on...

M: And happen to have a blog about brogues in movies... [dies laughing on the couch again] I can't breathe. Oh my god. Okay. I'm crying. I'm getting a tissue. [continues laughing]

J: [can't type]

M: Ah! Hmm.

J: We found this movie by chance at Hastings, which seemed so fortuitous at the time, but now doesn't seem so awesome.

M: It was a preview for some other move we watched. Maybe 'Wild Target'. [Meredith experiences a brief moment of clarity.]

J: I think you might be right! May wonders never cease. In any case, this movie was silly, and we didn't love it, but it wasn't as bad as 'Paul'. Also, it had Colin Firth and two different genders of Rupert Everett.

M: Well said. It really needed a Spice Girls reunion to tie it all together.
Wait wait, Russell Brand was in this movie?!

J: Totally. Okay, final questions. Should we try to find the sequel?

M: I vote nay.

J: Aww. Really?

M: I mean...

J: Yeah. Okay. There's another pair of campy British school movies that are actually holiday-themed! We'll try to find those.

M: Uh. Really?

J: Yeah! 'Nativity'! With Martin Freeman and David Tennant!

M: 'Nativity'?! Well I like them!

J: Stay tuned, everyone for our next post, which might have Martin Freeman, David Tenannt, or possibly 'Star Wars' as its theme!

M: Or afterbirth!

J: You just never know around here. BWAB out!

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