M2: That's irrelevant.
J: Cat jokes aside, we're here to blog!
M: [laughs] Oh, context.
J: So last week we went and saw a new movie called Transcendence starring Johnny Depp. It was our second attempt at BWAB goes to the movies (see, or maybe don't: Trance) and I can't say that we did any better this time around.
M: [shakes head] I think it was the closest that I've come to falling asleep in a movie theater since the first Transformers movie. I think I had a sinus infection then. In any case, it leads me to believe that I should not try to watch films that start with "trans."
J: Not a bad conclusion, all things considered. I actually stayed awake and alert for this one (may or may not have teared up at the end), but I didn't necessarily think that it was a movie worth paying for.
M2: Johnny Depp is crying somewhere.
J: Given his young girlfriend and impressive salary, I rather think not.
M: I have to say, I feel mostly to blame for us having gone to see this... [struggles] film.
|I'm doing great, motherf*ckers!|
M: [nods] But the real draw, at least for this blog, was the potential for brogue, also known as "Brogue Alert."
J: Hey Mom!
M: Right. Um. So Cillian Murphy. Cillian Murphy's in this movie.
M2: And he's a twat.
J: Not so much a twat, but totally unimpressive in this role, for which he uses an American accent.
M2: [laughs] Sorry, sounds like every other movie he's been in.
M: I'm not sure you've been invited to blog this time.
M2: It's at my house assholes!
M: "Our" house.
M2: When you're talking about Cillian Murphy it becomes my house. You're going to leave me for the Irishman.
|Transcended. And/or the undead. We're not sure.|
M: Isn't he a ginger?
J: [nods] Yes. He was also perhaps the only redeemable character in the film, for me.
M: What about the House of Cards chick? The leader of la revolución?
J: I meeeean, I think by the end you realize she's redeemable, but throughout most of the movie, she seems to be on the wrong side. It was frustrating to watch.
J: [drinks beer]
M: I feel like... we're really... we're really getting away from why we watched this movie. The reason for this blog.
J: Are we talking about Cillian Murphy again?
J: Is this the Cillian Murphy blog?
|Paul Bettany gets serious with some rebels. Ow-ow.|
M: [laughs] I mean... [trails off]
J: Well. This is news to me.
M: Brogues! I was talking about brogues, which is misleading in this film, as he was so expertly cast as an American FBI agent [heavy sarcasm].
J: It was truly an odd role for him, and I can't imagine why he took it. The character could have been played by literally any guy or gal with any acting experience at all. Perhaps even by someone without it. Hell, Meredith, you could have done that.
M: [laughs] What are you implying?
J: I didn't see you in the musical in high school.
M: I was in a different musical in high school at a different high school! There are photos and witnesses...
J: I stand corrected.
M: Anyways... I really did not love this film.
J: The blog can tell.
M: I thought the script was often... what's the word...
M: Yes. Extremely.
|"You're no Tim Robbins..."|
M: We've all seen Terminator.
J: I was thinking of AI and I, Robot as well.
M: What's that other one that Matt made me watch... Blade Runner?
M2: Yeah, there's androids, replicants...
J: Seriously, it's been done. The only thing this one had going for it was a powerful love story which, while believable for me, nevertheless made the movie into something of a paltry science fiction joke.
M: I thought you said...
J: Are you gonna say poultry?
M: [nods] [laughs] And I was really confused.
J: There is no poultry in this movie.
M: I mean... I think there was? Weren't there chickens? I think there were chickens. I seem to remember that.
J: Ladies and gentleman, Blog With a Brogue once again setting the standard for movies with chickens.
M: But seriously, speaking of brogues, as this is a blog about brogues...
|The gang's all here!|
M: It's worth noting to this blogger that Mr. Murphy's American accent has improved significantly. At least so far as I can tell. So there's that.
J: We have that going for us, which is nice.
M: Have you even seen Caddyshack?
J: It's a meme...
M: Well that's what that's from.
J: I did notice his accent was really believable, in that I couldn't believe what a lame role he was playing.
J: Let's wrap this up.
M: Okay. So how 'bout next time we watch something better?
J: Or way, way worse. None of this weird in-between stuff.
M: Fair enough.
J: BWAB, signing out.
M: Or is it signing off?