Broguers!

NOT Tremors. And one of the strangest titles
we've encountered thus far. We're hoping it
 means something better in Ireland.

M: To Grabbers? [lifts shot glass]

J: We should start this mother.

M: Yes. Starting the mother. [presses play] [turns up volume]

J: Oh yeah, crank that puppy.

M: Cranking the puppy.

J: I already can't breathe.

M: That's a good sign.

J: Welcome back to Blog with a Brogue! In honor of the movie we've just finished watching, we're listening to the 1996 album, The Grabbers. It's terrible. Like really bad. 

M: Until he started singing, it was okay! Not great, but decent. God, he's terrible! Let's listen to the Arctic Monkeys!

J: [grateful sigh] Listening now! So I have to say, this movie made my top 10, and I think BWAB's top 3. 

M: EASILY. [rolls over air mattress to grab can of Bud Light] Do we have to name-drop the brand? It's leftover party beer!

J: True and wonderful. The Bud Light has been named. May I add that we are also drinking Jameson, Bard's Hornsby's cider, and Free State beer. All in the name of Grabbers.

M: [laughs heartily] Jesus. In our defense, it's hard to watch this film and not feel some small inclination to have a beverage at hand.

Jenna's favorite character. The uptight-but-lovable
police woman. She's a perfect drunk!

J: It's worse than The World's End!

M: Yes! [nods]

J: In this film, recommended by none other than Papa Collins, the only way to survive the Grabbers, an alien race from the sea, is to maintain a blood alcohol level of at least .2. That sounds crazy, but we assure you, it was necessary.

M: Since you've mentioned The World's End... (God damn, the crack Cheetos. They're like grabbers. Friendly grabbers. They sit there and wait for you.) I feel compelled to comment on the similarities to Sean of the Dead, which I loved. However, ahh, no, I want to say Grabbers was better, but I can't. It's just different. Perhaps Shaun of the Dead has more of that silly-English-humor whereas Grabbers is maybe more distinctly Irish.

J: The cast certainly makes a difference in our appreciation of the two. There's no denying that Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are our spirit animals.

M: But they do not hold a candle to the Fletcher-guy! I don't even know his name, let alone his character-name!

J: It's not important. The point is that every single one of the characters in Grabbers is so distinctly, charismatically Irish that you can't help but love this movie for its sweet, well-intentioned hilarity.

M: I want to say that the subtleties are outstanding. [laughs] But that wouldn't be very subtle or outstanding!

J: Haha very true! Semantics strikes again. Who was your favorite character? Or top two?

Meredith's favorite character. The well-equipped
barman's wife.

M: Gawd. That's hard. I want to say the Fletcher-character. I love that that's what I'm calling him. Because he's delightfully Irish and just seems like somebody you know. But! The bar-keeper's wife and old-man Paddy are just fantastic. The one-liners abound.

J: Everyone in this movie plays exactly their part, no more, no less. There's only vaguely a main character, and even he doesn't necessarily win the most screen time. 

M: [nods] One thing I have to say, though. Ever since you mentioned that thing about the rating of women in film, whether or not there's any scene where there's one woman talking to another woman about something other than a man, I don't think this film passes.

J: Yes it does! The main female character speaks to the bar-keeper's wife about her room and the rental near the beginning of the movie. 

M: But just barely! Later on in the conversation she's telling her that "now's to book" if she wants a double instead of a single, etc. etc.! I just wanted to say "now's to book".

J: It's true. It's a technicality, because part of their conversation does involve a man and/or a relationship, but I think it gets by.

M: Yes, so maybe not very highly rated on that scale, but it flies.

J: Definitely. For the record, I have to state that both Meredith and I had trouble at one point or another understanding the absolutely glorious Irish brogue in this movie.

M: I feel like we sort of traded off, you translating, me translating, various portions. But it was, indeed, glorious. Perhaps, I dare say, the finest brogues we've yet heard. I went there. Or maybe that's just the Jameson.

J: I totally agree! Not because of the quality of movie necessarily, but because of the impressive variety of characters. We had everyone from the mainland professional, to the town drunk, to the marine biologist...

M: Not psychologist...

Old man Paddy! With a staple gun?!

J: To the barkeep, to his wife, to the priest, to the average elderly townsperson. Everyone was included and everyone was hilarious.

M: Mmhmm. It was also sufficiently suspenseful! It was a bit tense, there.

J: Truly! When I was trying to remember the name earlier today, all I could think to do was google "Irish comedy horror" and I tell you what, it popped right up.

M: Quite apt!

J: Folks, it's funny, clever, suspenseful...

M: And the scenery! Amazing.

J: We commented more than once about how we HAD to go to Ireland. And not just anywhere in Ireland. A small town.

M: Again, though, about the brogues. I believe they were in the west, on an island. And I daresay they spoke quite clearly for what I imagine one might sound like living in the west. Remember The Guard? Our very first blog post? If I remember correctly, that was also the west. It was quite difficult.

J: You're totally right! I wonder if we'd understand more now, or if that movie was just a perfect example of how truly esoteric a brogue can really be.

And there's the marine psychologist on the right!

M: A good experiment!

J: The unofficial point of this blog! 

M: [laughs] Oh right! We did have a point! I think... [reads the Jameson bottle] Did you know that John Jameson founded his distillery in Dublin in 1780?

J: John Jameson?!

M: 1780! I just wanted to point out that that's a long time ago!

J: Whiskey. Brought to you by Blog with a Brogue. Wait, no. The other way around.

M: I mean, yeah. Wait, before we're done... just because I thought it was funny enough to write down... can we just point out that you called the jukebox a jakeboard.

J: No! That's not it!

M: What?

J: I called it a jackboard!

M: I stand corrected.

J: Don't worry, you still come out on top on this one.

M: [laughs]

J: Seriously folks, one of our favorite movies, easily. There's aliens, drinking, romance, brogue, scenery, and a good storm to boot.

M: I legitimately, honestly recommend this one. And it's on Netflix! You don't even have to leave your house!

J: Seriously! This one's on us. Enjoy!

M: You're welcome!

"We're gonna need a bigger boat." 

Brogues United

J: This is going to be intense... we might cry!

M: F*ck. I'm not drunk enough to watch this. I'm taking off my pants.

J: Do I have the play button? [hits play]

M: Based on real events. Great.

J: Sh*t.

M: Cheers!

J: [watches movie] His accent's different! (referring to David Tennant)

M: He's doing Manchester!

J: He is! It's not Dr. Who, and it's not Scottish... coooool...

M: Also, I love how English people sh*t on Wales. I don't get it. It looks like a lovely place.

J: "No Edwardian Clothes"!? What does that mean!?

M: I have no idea! No bourgeois clothes?

A bit posed, but still delightful. "Kitted out"

J: ...

M: This is the worst movie ever.

J: [nods sadly] There are way too many man-tears in this movie.

M: It's because it's a sports movie.

J: [sigh] If I weren't staring at a Liverpool flag right now, I might be a Manchester United fan after watching this.

M: [glares pointedly] I just feel like liking Man United is like liking the Yankees.

M2: Manchester actually make more money and are more popular world-wide than the Yankees.

M: Okay, so it's even worse than liking the Yankees.

J: I'm... I'm not a baseball fan.

Look! Dr. Who!

[music intensifies]

M: I'm going to turn this off, because I can't handle the music.

J: So Meredith. This was a bit of a departure from our usual fare.

M2: This was a downer. Wait, don't say that, because the plane went down.

J: Too late.

M: [shakes head at everyone] [burps loudly]

J: SO MEREDITH. How did you like this drama?

M: Well. Um.

M2: [snorts] Dot dot dot...

M: I really... um... well I really  just wanted to watch it because Finnick's in it. And because it was about football. But I guess I didn't really take into account the fact that it's really sad.

Oh, Finnick. How could you do this to us.

J: It WAS. And there was an incredible amount of foreshadowing and really intense music and it was just basically like, "Hey everybody, come see how sad this is!"

M: [laughs inappropriately heartily]

J: It was a beautiful story though, and one I'm glad that I know, given how exciting soccer (FOOTBALL) has become here in Kansas as of late. (Go Sporting!) There's just not much to say about it given how truly sad it was.

M2: It was no Damned United.

J: Wait, what?

M2: It's another football movie. I'm not saying that story wasn't as good or anything, I'm just saying it's a good movie. Michael Sheen's a better actor than the Dr. Who dude.

J: [shakes head maliciously]

M: Oh snap!

M2: If you guys want to be tacky and/or come off as Man United fans, you could sing the song.

M: Nope.

J: Lost again. THE POINT IS that this was a really moving, wonderful movie, and we're glad we watched it.

M: [laughs inappropriately again] I promise, it's a lot funnier from where I'm sitting. But seriously, it was a great film.

M2: You guys should, uh, I was gonna say... you guys should google whether or not Bobby's ginge. 'Cause I'm not sure. David Beckham's a wanker, but you know...

J: [googles Sir Bobby] Okay, he's sort of a ginger.

M2: Eh, he's more blonde. As a ginger, he's not.

Well done, Sir Bobby!

M: We should put something about the manager. Apparently he is actually Scottish, and Scottish in the movie.

J: He did not sound Scottish. He sounded Eastern European!

M: He sounded confused at best.

J: So I'm kind of done. I don't really know what else to say.

M: [nods] I thought we were done way back when...well, before Matt brought up Damned United. Can we put the trailer for Will at the end?!

J: [reaches for more snacks]

M: Oh! I thought of one more thing I was going to say! It's not really that important, but, I noticed as we were watching the movie that Finnick kinda looks like a British Matthew Lillard, but so much prettier.

J: YES!

M: Like a grown-up Matthew Lillard.

J: You're. So. Right. But Finnick, in all incarnations, is 100% better.

M: So much better. And British.

M2: [plays trailer for Will]

J: Oh my god how do you not own this movie?

M: We've never even seen it, we just watch the trailer sometimes.

M2: We just have to watch it sometimes and be like, "That's real. That's a real movie people made."

J: Our next movie will be: The Trip. It's been decided. Stay tuned!

M: Until then, here's a trailer for Will.

St. Brogian's

J: In the Firefly universe, a companion is like a prostitute but not a prostitute. She's like a prostitute, but she's respected.

M: [laughs] [types furiously]

J: Ok, I'll type it from here.

M: That's good, because I can't spell 'companion.'

J: Oh, I thought you said 'St. Trinian's.'

M: I can spell 'St. Trinian's!'

J: Wait, am I spelling it wrong?

M: No, I think you've got it! For the record, I tried to look up St. Trinian. I don't think it's a real saint.

J: Really?!

M: really. I didn't look very hard.

J: Well I'm gonna look tomorrow. If I remember.

M: It's very important.

J: OKAY. So Meredith. Give me a brief play-by-play of your reaction while watching this... how do I say... unconventional British heist movie?

M: Well. It started off a bit like 'Princess Diaries' meets a PG-13 rating with a great deal of British campy-ness thrown in there.

Heisting art.

J: Actually, that's a pretty damn accurate description. I literally didn't know what to make of this movie when it started. Absolutely not within any realm of normality or predictability.

M: Luckily for us, however, it quickly transitioned into a genre with which we are very familiar, the British art heist.

J: Prior to beginning Blog With a Brogue, I truly had to no idea that the British valued their art so highly that they had to frequently mock the protection they bestowed upon those priceless pieces via tasteless heist movies.

M; [laughs] Indeed!

J: This is probably the third or fourth campy art heist movie we've watched within the last six months.

M: The art aspect does... shit... what's the word... does elevate the otherwise...uhh... otherwise... campy.... [laughs] I want to say illegitimate, but that' not the word... the wine is strong with this one, not that I've seen 'Star Wars'...

J: Soon to be remedied, dear readers!

M: As a disclaimer, I have seen 'Star Wars,' but I was like, 7, so it doesn't really matter.

Ms. Everett, you are just delightful.

J: Well, we're gonna watch it again. Spoilers, mother f*ckers.

M: Goodness!

J: You're right, you're right. We have a lot of younger readers.

M: Do we have any readers? Dear readers... show yourselves...

J: Naked. No, wait.

M: That escalated quickly. Wait, weren't we going to do another food drive? The holidays are coming, and BWAB cares.

J: We do! And we will! We're still working out the details (heads-up, Liberty Hall!), but we hope to be sending some more information your way soon regarding a much-anticipated 'Star Wars' and/or other Christmas movie watch-a-thon and food drive.

M: Yes. All details forthcoming in good time.

J: So let's think about 'St. Trinian's' just for a moment more. The brogues were actually pretty thick in a  number of places. The English captions were on when we started in, and we soon realized why.

M: While Rupert Everett was surely the star of the... film, I guess... I certainly missed more than a phrase or two here and there. His posh...

J: Brit-speak, or whatever...

Oh hello Mr. Self. You're very... dashing...

M: Yes! Exactly that. And can we talk about similarities between Colin Firth and Bill Self?

J: I was BLOWN AWAY when you said that, because ohmigosh, it's so true. As you said earlier, they have the same effortless air of superiority...

M: All while maintaining an intense likability.

J: Intense. It's true.

M: God, he even winked. Like involuntarily.

J: One of the funnier moments in this mild train-wreck of a movie.

Oh hey, Colin. Watcha thinkin' about?

M: But it had such legitimate talent, Colin Firth and Mr. Everett and so many other people that we spent the entire movie trying to determine how else we knew them... from what we knew them... damn.

J: Like Stephen Frye! He's an amazing philosopher and actor, and there he was, playing a bit part in the campy girl-school art-heist daddy-issues cross-dressing flick that is St. Trinian's.

M: That's perfect.

J: But back to Colin Firth! This movie had numerous not-so-subtle but still-hilarious references to Colin Firth's turn in 'Pride and Prejudice'. For anyone who hasn't seen the six-hour BBC production, I highly recommend watching before or without watching 'St. Trinian's.'

M: I, personally, would like to watch said six-hour adaptation whilst participating in a certain drinking game that I have heard talk of. Just sayin'. Call me.

J: It's a commitment. But it's worth it. Granted, I only made it through the first half before I fell asleep, so obviously, my work is ahead of me, too.

Thank god for you, Stephen.

M: That being said, what's next for BWAB? Where will we go from here? [giggles into wine glass]

J: Well, there is a sequel to 'St. Trinian's'...

M: Oh, jesus.

J: He won't be with us during the next viewing.

M: Who?

J: Jesus.

M: [wheezes] Can we watch 'Music From Another Room Again'? Oh, sh*t, I think Jude Law's in that! Oh, does he do an American accent? No, I think he's British in it!

J: Yeah, because imagine the way he says 'afterbirth'!

M: [dies laughing on the couch] God, you're so right! [laughs] That's brilliant! This is how I know you're a genius. [continues laughing hysterically] Oh, jesus, which is apparently my go-to, wine-drunk phrase. My apologies.

J: Bottom line, this movie was weird, unrealistic, confusing, cheesy, predictably, and...

M: Art-heisty...

J: I was going to say star-studded, but that's fine.

M: Ah. [laughs]

J: It's worth a watch....

M: Is it?

J: Ahh, good point. I was going say if you have nothing better going on...

M: And happen to have a blog about brogues in movies... [dies laughing on the couch again] I can't breathe. Oh my god. Okay. I'm crying. I'm getting a tissue. [continues laughing]

J: [can't type]

M: Ah! Hmm.

J: We found this movie by chance at Hastings, which seemed so fortuitous at the time, but now doesn't seem so awesome.

M: It was a preview for some other move we watched. Maybe 'Wild Target'. [Meredith experiences a brief moment of clarity.]

J: I think you might be right! May wonders never cease. In any case, this movie was silly, and we didn't love it, but it wasn't as bad as 'Paul'. Also, it had Colin Firth and two different genders of Rupert Everett.

M: Well said. It really needed a Spice Girls reunion to tie it all together.

Wait wait, Russell Brand was in this movie?!

J: Totally. Okay, final questions. Should we try to find the sequel?

M: I vote nay.

J: Aww. Really?

M: I mean...

J: Yeah. Okay. There's another pair of campy British school movies that are actually holiday-themed! We'll try to find those.

M: Uh. Really?

J: Yeah! 'Nativity'! With Martin Freeman and David Tennant!

M: 'Nativity'?! Well I like them!

J: Stay tuned, everyone for our next post, which might have Martin Freeman, David Tenannt, or possibly 'Star Wars' as its theme!

M: Or afterbirth!

J: You just never know around here. BWAB out!

Brogula

J: It's like, arugula, but...

M: You should start with that.

J: Done! Welcome back to Blog With a Brogue! We're very pleased tonight to welcome a special guest blogger, my darling sister, Katie. Why don't you say a few words about yourself?

M: You should put her initials as K with an 8 or K with a T.

K: Or K D.

J: It's just K guys. There's no one else here.

M: FINE.

K: But I'm the special guest...

M: This is why we can't have more guests.

K: I bring a medical professional's knowledge to my evaluation of the content.

M: That's actually relevant to this show! Like, why does JRM have that scar on his stomach?

K: Sure as f*ck don't know.

M: And why is that lady bleeding from her mouth?

K: She cut it? Eugh, lots of pressure.

J: She's really great, guys. A big, warm, BWAB welcome to my sister Katie! So, Meredith and Kate, tell me a tiny bit about what we watched tonight!

M: Oh, well apparently everyone else thought we were watching Sleepy Hollow.

Definitely not Sleepy Hollow...

K: I did go into it thinking, why is there a vampire in Sleepy Hollow?

M: GOTCHA!

J: But really, we watched the pilot of the new NBC show Dracula...

M: [laughs]

K: [laughs] I think I might puke!

M: Now you have to come back! It's not a blog post 'till we end up crying.

J: SO DRACULA! Meredith had already seen it, but was kind enough to watch it again. Her descriptions of the brogues... and the plot, I suppose... encouraged me to want to check it out. Mere, who are your favorite characters so far?

M: Um, my favorite character by far is the not-Dracula other-young-guy, whose name I can never remember, but he writes for a newspaper and Dracula quickly takes a shining to him.

K: [whispers] Is it Neville Longbottom? [burps] I'm feeling gassy!

We repeat: That is NOT Neville Longbottom from the popular
Harry Potter series. Neither is that Justin Long, the American actor.

M: Yes.

J: [nods]

M: To be clear, he's not actually Neville, but allegedly he looks like him.

K: It's like they wanted him, but couldn't get him.

M: To be fair, Katie also thinks they wanted Justin Long for Dracula.

K: In which case, you wouldn't be writing about the show.

J: There's also a Kiera Knightly wanna-be, who also...

K: Had the baby with the girl from Twilight, who is the girl...

M: Rosalie!

K: Yeah, that's the one!

M: There's also Edith's not-husband from Downton Abbey.

The mysterious Mina and not-Knightly.

J: Best. Show. Ever.

M: To be fair... I really do think it's pretty decent! I really expected it to just be god-awful, but it's quite watchable!

J: You're not wrong. We made fun of this show for months, literally since Mere heard it was coming out, maybe a year ago. We're shocked as you are that this show might actually be worth watching.

M: And, it's worth noting that it is a mini-series, which is, as we discussed earlier, unfortunately rare here in the States.

J: Here, here! Or hear, hear...

M: Or there, there...

K: There, there...

J: Now that we're all consoled, tell me about JRM's brogue. Because I know you have a lot to say. That's Jonathan Rhys Meyers for you noobs out there.

M: Um, I daresay he's come a long way since 6 Souls. His American accent is not spot-on...

K: But it's not supposed to be!

Who is that other guy, anyway?

M: Exactly. It works well because he's supposed to be a British person posing as American. Well actually, he's supposed to be from Romania, so I don't know where he's getting the British thing from...

J: A very good point! My favorite part about the show so far is how intricate the plot is after just one episode. I found myself asking questions trying to keep up and looking forward to the next installment of this ridiculous vampire fix.

K: [silence]

M: [silence] [shrugs] On the topic of brogues, the not-Dracula other-young-guy...

K: Neville Longbottom?

M: Not-Neville-Longbottom!

K: The one who's in cahoots?

M: Yes! He has an excellent brogue. What did I say earlier? "Off the chain"?  For the record, I meant off the charts.

J: The record will show "off the chain".

M: So where are we?

J: Where are we?

M: "Katie drops loud bottle. Everyone screams."

K: Well there's too many of them!

J: That's how you know it's a good post.

M: Did we say anything?

J: Do either of you have anything to add?

K: Are we gonna talk about Tits McGee and her controversial clothing for the era?

Tits McGee and her McGees.

M: [laughs] That took me a minute! I was like "who's Tits McGee?" Then I thought about it...

K: And you figured it out! She's on vacation...

J: That's my twitter bio!

M: [dies laughing] [wheezes] "She's on vacation!"

J: She had a lot of boobs.

K: That she did.

M: That makes it sound like something...

K: Like multiple boobs...

M: Not like just... this got complicated.

K: This got real weird.

J: Maybe we should wrap it up. And the boobs.

K: All of them.

J: So if you want to watch some weird, not-quite-right brogue and/or characters we think look like other people, plus lots of boobs, check out Dracula.

M: [can't breathe] It's really great.

K: [laughing] Oh, wow.

M: Whew.

K: I feel like "lots of boobs" is misleading...

J: Yeah but when you get there...

M: You'll know.

J: Till next time!

Tha-tha-tha-that's all folks!

Brogue Target

J: [giggles]

M: [giggles]

J: I almost got Meredith to type this one.

M: [giggles more]

J: We literally just finished watching Wild Target, a random Liberty Hall pick that looked to be watchable, funny, and full of brogue.

M: It was quite successful on each of those accounts. I mean, more or less.

J: We just finished discussing how the brogue wasn't really all that memorable - definitely not the focal point of the film - other than a few phrases by Rupert Grint (WEASLEY IS OUR KING!), which Meredith for some reason could not understand.

M: I have a confession. I thought Rupert was his name in the Harry Potter movies. I have only seen one of them, and that was when it first came out a million years ago. My bad.

J: Oh. Em. Eff. Gee. I thought we covered this in Friend 101. His name in the movie (BOOKS) is Ronald (Ron) Weasley. RON. Not Rupert. Katie's dog's name is Rupert. I call him Poopert. 

"My name's Ron!"

M: So, Jenna. Would you care - or dare - to provide a general plot summary?

J: I would be glad to! This film focuses on Emily Blunt's character, whose name according to IMDB is Rose, though I had no idea at the beginning of this post. She's a thief of the best, or worst, sort, in that she considers herself invincible and quickly catches the attention of a black market art collector, who she, of course, scams. The hit man hired to kill her falls in love with her instead and through some really predictable British shenanigans...

M: And montages...

J: ...they all end up in the country together, where the movie is resolved, though you'll just have to watch it to see how. A point about the montages, they were kind of adorable if tragically obvious.

M: They were at least very short for the most part.

J: Very true. We did wonder, at times, what genre this movie really preferred because again, it seemed to jump around a bit. 

M: I was going to make a joke there about something to do with it being "off target," "missing the bulls-eye," something or other, but I got nothing.

"Oh, you!"

J: I think your efforts speak for themselves. The truth is that we actually liked this movie and its quirky plot. I think Bill Nighy did an especially good job as the emotionally-stunted assassin.

M: Funny story about old Bill...

J: Do go on...

M: Just yesterday I had that song from Love Actually stuck in my head about, "If you really love Christmas," etc. etc.

J: It's a good one, but definitely not the season. 

M: I mean we're getting there... I think the fact of the matter is that I really enjoy that movie, partially due to Bill Nigh-y, Nih-ghy, Nee-hee? 

J: Yes.

M: He's really great. 

J: He was! And I loved his character in this movie. Totally adorable, unintentionally vulnerable, and yet, the love story, in the end, was not at all believable. 

M: No! Not even kind of! Frankly, I have to say a good 90% of the movie was not plausible.

J: Well that's where I had to step back and wonder, how unconventional is this movie really hoping to be? It's obviously not a legitimate heist movie - there's a good deal of humor involved - but it didn't even seem to stay within the boundaries it set for itself.

M: Yeah, it never really committed one way or the other. There was no shortage of people being shot, though. Although not a lot of blood. It was all quite clean.

Good clean fun!

J: Exactly my point. It was more of a farce than a true dramatic film, and even then it was a bit too silly. Everyone played their parts beautifully, though, and for what it was, it was kind of perfect.

M: [nods] And obviously, at least one other person has seen this movie, because they put together a soundtrack of the playlist on Spotify, which was not bad.

J: I exclaimed, "I love this song!" several times while watching. Mere backed me up a couple of those. Anything else you'd like add about this sweet little romp?

M: It was indeed a romp. And also a bit uncomfortably reminiscent of Fakers right at the beginning there. I'd have to say overall it was a better film than Fakers. 

J: I completely agree on all counts. Did nearly the same thing in a much better fashion. Oh! This is our anniversary!

M: Oh, shit! It is! I mean, it is! 

J: That's right everyone, this officially marks almost two years of insightful, educational commentary. To celebrate, we went to Brit's Mixer, Mixer event. Meredith, did you enjoy your British mixers?

M: I did. Sally of Brits, who was mixing the mixers, had some very insightful tips about those occasions when you can't quite afford the expensive booze. You should simply upgrade your mixers! It's quite brilliant.

J: I definitely had never considered that alternative, and I most enjoyed the offerings. 

M: I also quite enjoyed making sausage jokes with the caterer, Matt, the owner of Queen Lizzy's. He was most certainly British and chatty and lovely.

J: He was! Herby sausage, folks. Apparently it's delicious, but not gluten-free. I had the sliders and a curry chicken drumstick instead, and loved everything. So tell everyone what we're going to do, or make a vague promise, or something.

His teeth were easily the most frightening part of this movie.
Do not look directly at the teeth.

M: We have a lot of great things in store here for the next year of Blog with a Brogue. Lots of films that haven't come out yet, television shows that have not been released in the States, and one from 2007 that we are very excited to look into as soon as possible! Post haste! 

J: You'll just have to check back in to find out what it is. I promise, it'll be good. Better than this. Remember what I said about promises.

[drier buzzes]

M: [nearly spits out drink] I wish we had a gif that. That was ridiculous. It's like the noise you hear when you sit too close to the scorers' table at a basketball game, except maybe louder.

J: But hey, my clothes are dry! Go, me. Sorry about your heart.

M: [still recovering] [breathes deeply]

J: BWAB is gonna wrap it up a bit early tonight. Hope you folks have a lovely Thursday. We just turned off Spotify because good lord, that music. No.

M: Took a turn for the worst. 

J: Not unlike this post. Goodnight everybody!

Blog with a Brogue makes a few mistakes.

6 Brogues

J: For how bad this movie is, we've already found a treasure trove of photos.

M: [laughs] We have a lot.

J: We do. But first! Before anything else! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LIZ MOTHER-F*CKING STUEWE!

M: She's really great.

J: Last week Meredith and I watched 6 Souls, which was evidently first titled Shelter.

M: Unlike Liz, it was less than great.

J: It had such potential. A dark, dramatic psychological thriller with our boy, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers and classic red-head Julianne Moore... Unfortunately, the execution was not what it should have been. In fact, the genre was not what it should have been.

M: No! It went from, as you said, psychological thriller, and descended very quickly into, as you said when we were watching it, a "devil movie."

J: I was pretty disappointed. I mean, if you're gonna do a crazy Appalachia voo-doo movie, just call it like it is and make it awesome. If you want to play with Dissociative Identity Disorder, there's a whole movie there and then some.

M: And if you're going to try to do a movie where one of the main character has to run through a number of different accents, you should probably hire a professional to aid them in attaining such accents for as long as a scene requires. But, that being said, I still have nothing but love for JRM.

J: What was it Julianne Moore said in an interview about the movie? That he "tried really hard"?

Work. Harder.

M: I think it was in the present tense of, "Johnny was trying so hard" or something to that effect.

J: [internets]

M: [laughs] Internets. Verb.

J: They'll understand. SUCCESS! The quote is, "Oh my gosh. It was fun. Jonny worked so hard." 

M: She said dejectedly, and without feeling.

J: He really did, and oh boy, did it show. His accents were inconsistent at best, at times appearing to be Australian, Southern, Bostonian, his native Irish, you name it, he went there.

M: I hate to be so unkind, but it's true.

Yes, she's yelling at me again.

J: So the movie wandered around from genre to genre, and JRM's accent meandered around the globe. The plot itself was well-intentioned, but couldn't survive the confusing setting it found itself in.

M: [nods] It really had such potential. It's a shame.

J: Very true. My most vivid memory is of Matt pouring himself glass after glass of red wine, trying to get through the movie with us. If only we remembered his quotes...

M: Ah, yeah. His recreations of the accents alone made the film worth watching.

J: So the bottom line is that we recommend the movie, but only if you can have a drunk Matt in the room with you.

M: [nods again] Mine is not for rent or any other use... I don't really know where I'm going with that. Find your own Matt, I guess.

J: There's plenty of 'em out there. I'm doing my best, currently.

[breathes heavily]
"Come on, Jonny, not again. The scene ended five minutes ago."

M: Any closing thoughts? Did we already do that?
J: No! And yes. 

M: [laughs] I don't understand.

J: I just want to say that I really like voo-doo movies. The Skeleton Key was amazing.

M: I wanted to see that! That's with Kate Hudson!

J: It's so seriously creepy, and it also plays on the idea of belief as an evil deterrent. And it's done really well. I wish that this movie...

M: Was also done really well?

J: Well yes, but mostly I wish that this movie had picked a genre and stuck with it. It had potential either way, but definitely not enough screen time or plot to make it believable as either. 

They both worked pretty hard, actually.

M: It didn't even give me nightmares, which, I mean, doesn't take much.

J: She cries at commercials, folks. I've seen it happen.

M: I did nearly fall out of my seat at that one moment.

J: Right, it has its moments.

M: Its cheap thrills...

J: But not much more. Good try, Jonny. And Julianne. And [insert director's name here].

M: [laughs] I hope people really call him Jonny. 'Cause really, his name is way too long.

J: That's what she said.

M: The end.

Heeeeeere's Jonny!

Brogue Effects

M: Wow, Lativa totally dropped off... we'll always have Malaysia.

J: For those of you wondering, we had some fans in some rather... unconventional places. They must have moved.

M: Now of course by "fans," we mean whatever weird, electronic thing that visits blogs to confuse people.

J: Their only purpose: confusion. The masses will never be safe.

M: It's clearly working.

J: Dammit, you're right. [sips delicious drink]

M: It smells so good, I can smell it from here.

J: Spiked cider ladies and gentlemen, courtesy of, of course, The Bourgeois Pig. Because why would we blog anywhere else?

M: I mean... I could come up with reasons, but frankly I don't want to. Clearly the movie was really fascinating.

J: So it's been awhile since we watched Side Effects, and the truth is that we didn't like it very much in the first place. Dark, disturbing, someone dies, it's awful.

M: Spoiler! It was also quite light in its broguery as well. That's... that's not a word, but I like it.

J: Me too. It stays.

M: Did I tell you when I searched for blogs about brogues, a vast majority of them were actually about shoes? Like a lot.

Mr. Law, er, Banks, in action.

J: BWAB: Breaking stereotypes one visit at a time. This movie made it to Blog With A Brogue only because of Jude Law, who we hadn't really seen in awhile.

M: ...

J: Comments on Jude Law, Meredith?

M: [laughs] Umm...

J: His character perhaps?

M: I liked his character.

J: There we go!

M: I liked his character very much. I appreciated his profession and his professionalism, as well as his philosophy, which guided him through his profession.

Guess who dies.

J: For those of you now wondering, Jude Law plays a psychiatrist.

M: It makes it sound like I didn't even watch the movie.

J: I have proof you did. No I don't, but we'll pretend.

M: It's your word against mine, really, which is not unlike the situation Mr. Law finds himself in in Side Effects!

J: And the point for most unintentional transition ever goes to my esteemed co-writer.

M: I was hoping to be a colleague.

It's not her.

J: That can be arranged. In any case, the movie focuses on a seemingly disturbed young woman, who, under the influence of a experimental new anti-depression drug ends up murdering someone close to her. She then turns to Jude Law, her psychiatrist...

M: [laughs] Jude Law - not the character - actually Jude Law.

J: Okay [checks internet] His name is Dr. Jonathan Banks.

M: That was his name?

J: Yeah, I didn't remember.

M: Clearly not important.

Trouble in paradise.

J: Nope. In any case, he comes under fire for prescribing the drug and allowing the side effects to get out of control. The rest of the movie is a twisted unraveling of stories and claims.

M: And Catherine Zeta-Jones.

J: I hadn't seen her in anything in ages, and she does quite a good job as a rival psychiatrist.

M: Is she British?

J: No?

M: She's got a real funky accent. Like when she says the word "anything," she's got a real funky "ehni-thin'" going on.

J: [checks internet] She's Welsh!

M: I am so proud of myself right now. I would have guessed that she was... not Welsh... But see? We are learning!

Happier times.

J: We are! I have absolutely confidence in the fact that you would have never noticed her funky accent had we not been blogging about ridiculous movies for the past two years.

M: Honestly, of all words, the word "anything," seems to have become a dead giveaway to me. I just like it.

J: This is going way better than expected, given that we barely remember the movie.

M: You should just type that.

J: BOOM. So we have two broguers on our side for this one! Go, Wales!

M: Well, any closing thoughts?

J: Would you recommend this movie to anyone?

M: No, not really. It wasn't terrible, certainly watchable, remotely interesting, Jude Law is still lovely.

J: As is Channing Tatum, but really, there's absolutely nothing feel-good here, except maybe some dirty vindication.

M: Yep.

J: Bottom line... uh... I don't really have a bottom line. Brogue Effects, does that work?

M: It's better than Side Brogues.

J: Boobs.

"You're Welsh."
"Thank you."

The Brogue's End

M: But not really!

J: No, this is not, in fact, the end of Blog With a Brogue, no matter how much you may want it to be.

M: Can I just say, that the title of this blog post made me think of that Doors song where he says "this is the end," which made me remember that there is a different Doors song in this movie, and it really kind of made the movie for me. [laughs] It was nice.

J: Really? What song? I obviously have no memory nor knowledge of Doors songs, in the movie or otherwise.

M: Normally, I dislike the Doors. I think it was just the setting and the context that were perfect in the film. Anyways, it's called... uhhahhh... something about a whiskey bar. Show me the way to the next whiskey bar.

J: Oh, this! I remember this! This was awesome! Was this when they were doing the pouring scenes?

M: No, this was when they were all walking arm in arm!

J: Ohhhh yeah, that was soooo good!

M: And there's even a lyric in there about "don't ask why..." or "we must die..." It was all very fitting!

J: BWAB, now with soundtracks!

Yuk yuk yuk! I'm driving on the wrong side!

M: We should tell them the title. It's actually called "Alabama Song." I think.

J: Confirmed. The movie's title is, perhaps obviously, perhaps not, The World's End. The last in an unofficial trio by Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, and...

M: Director, Edgar Wright.

J: Oh, good job!

M: The "Cornetto" trio.

J: Ohhh yeah, 'cause of the shape! (It's ice cream cones.)

M: Yeeeah, something cornucopia!

J: And trumpets... But anyway! We actually did a bit of research before seeing this movie.

M: We did?!

J: All those articles! That counts!

M: Ohhh, we did! It was very insightful.

J: It really was. The history of the three of them, and where they were in life when the previous two movies were made... it provided a much-needed background story to the movie, in my opinion. Because honestly, I didn't find this as funny as I wanted to, especially not in the context of their previous movies (Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz).

M: Oh my god. I have so many things to say right now. First of all, with regard to the articles, fascinating. I loved hearing about their individual backgrounds, how they came to be friends, how they got - at all - from point A to point B. Fascinating, and entertaining, and witty. Secondly, oh my god Hot Fuzz. There are no words to describe how entertained I am by that film.

J: Was that it?

M: Um... um, yes. I think Nick Frost might be my spirit animal.  But otherwise, that's it.

J: We actually came to this revelation after reading the above-mentioned articles. Previously, we'd both assumed, due to Simon Pegg and Meredith's natural ginger state, that they...

M: [laughs] That I might grow up to be Simon Pegg.

 Scotchy scotch scotch.
Here it goes down. Down into my belly.

J: Exactly. But turns out, we were being racist. The truth is that I have much more in common with Simon Pegg than Meredith, and similarly for Meredith and Nick Frost. Don't worry, we're still growing up to be hilarious British men.

M: Still on track.

J: Which is the best that can be said of my life thus far.

M: [laughs] So, what else should we say about this film?

J: It made me immediately want to drink.

M: [laughs] From a glass!

J: And a tap. I believe I went straight to the liquor store on the way home and bought beer. The truth about the movie, though, is that the main character wasn't entirely likable, which, for me, colored the tone of the film in a negative way.

M: Absolutely. He had very brief redeeming moments...

You're out of order. Your mom's out of order.

J: The monologue at the end was brilliant.

M: [nods] But there was just not enough to really sell me on the guy. I really did, though, love the relationships and the history of the main quintet.

J: Very true. That, I believe, was the main point of the movie - the ways people change after many years and significant life events have passed, and they ways they haven't.

M: Yes. And how people deal with "falling outs" with close friends.

J: Precisely. It's a slightly uncomfortable movie, perhaps because we can all relate to those things, even if we can't relate to blue-blooded robots taking over the Earth.

M: Have we said too much?

J: You're right, they're not robots.

M: [laughs] Basically, what I want to say, is that the trilogy, as a whole, is fantastic. This film particularly was lovely, but it was not the ending I would have hoped for. Regardless, I mean, I don't know. I want to say that it only failed to live up to my standards because the other two are so good, particularly Hot Fuzz.

J: Of course.

M: But! All the same, it does feel like closure. And it is a lovely film.

J: I laughed out loud repeatedly. And loudly. In a movie theater crowded with people.

M: During a matinee, even!

J: It's true, their reputation for making a good film was evident.

M: This was the first of their films I'd even seen in a theater.

J: Very good point. It could be that the advertisers really knew what they were doing, but on the other hand, this was a fully British movie that premiered in America to excellent crowds, which speaks volumes for the kind of work these men are able to do.

M: Oh, god, except for Paul. I hate to even bring it up, but...

J: No, I had to say something too. Something about having Wright as the director really makes a difference. More than I thought possible. Well, and I bet Simon Pegg didn't write Paul.

M: No, I bet he didn't.

J: Also, the main female character in this otherwise male-driven movie, is none other than Jane Bingley from the Kiera Knightly version of Pride and Prejudice. Took me ages to figure that out.

M: She's gotta be in something else... she looks so familiar. In any case, she was fantastic, and I read some rumor about her being cast as the lead in the film adaptation of Gone Girl, which would rock.

J: I cannot wait to see that movie. It's gonna be good. Rosamund Pike! Check her out.

M: I think that's about all I got.

J: Seriously, me too. I loved Martin Freeman, of course, and...

M: The other two... I can't think of their names. So familiar, and yet... "those British guys."

J: Exactly. Well folks, I think it's time to leave you for the night. We're about to watch a new movie called Side Effects that only counts because...

M: JUDE LAW.

J: There it is. And with no further adieu... BWAB out!

M: [applauds gently]

The end!