J: For those of you wondering, we had some fans in some rather... unconventional places. They must have moved.
M: Now of course by "fans," we mean whatever weird, electronic thing that visits blogs to confuse people.
J: Their only purpose: confusion. The masses will never be safe.
M: It's clearly working.
J: Dammit, you're right. [sips delicious drink]
M: It smells so good, I can smell it from here.
J: Spiked cider ladies and gentlemen, courtesy of, of course, The Bourgeois Pig. Because why would we blog anywhere else?
M: I mean... I could come up with reasons, but frankly I don't want to. Clearly the movie was really fascinating.
J: So it's been awhile since we watched Side Effects, and the truth is that we didn't like it very much in the first place. Dark, disturbing, someone dies, it's awful.
M: Spoiler! It was also quite light in its broguery as well. That's... that's not a word, but I like it.
J: Me too. It stays.
M: Did I tell you when I searched for blogs about brogues, a vast majority of them were actually about shoes? Like a lot.
|Mr. Law, er, Banks, in action.|
J: Comments on Jude Law, Meredith?
M: [laughs] Umm...
J: His character perhaps?
M: I liked his character.
J: There we go!
M: I liked his character very much. I appreciated his profession and his professionalism, as well as his philosophy, which guided him through his profession.
|Guess who dies.|
M: It makes it sound like I didn't even watch the movie.
J: I have proof you did. No I don't, but we'll pretend.
M: It's your word against mine, really, which is not unlike the situation Mr. Law finds himself in in Side Effects!
J: And the point for most unintentional transition ever goes to my esteemed co-writer.
M: I was hoping to be a colleague.
|It's not her.|
M: [laughs] Jude Law - not the character - actually Jude Law.
J: Okay [checks internet] His name is Dr. Jonathan Banks.
M: That was his name?
J: Yeah, I didn't remember.
M: Clearly not important.
|Trouble in paradise.|
J: Nope. In any case, he comes under fire for prescribing the drug and allowing the side effects to get out of control. The rest of the movie is a twisted unraveling of stories and claims.
M: And Catherine Zeta-Jones.
J: I hadn't seen her in anything in ages, and she does quite a good job as a rival psychiatrist.
M: Is she British?
M: She's got a real funky accent. Like when she says the word "anything," she's got a real funky "ehni-thin'" going on.
J: [checks internet] She's Welsh!
M: I am so proud of myself right now. I would have guessed that she was... not Welsh... But see? We are learning!
J: We are! I have absolutely confidence in the fact that you would have never noticed her funky accent had we not been blogging about ridiculous movies for the past two years.
M: Honestly, of all words, the word "anything," seems to have become a dead giveaway to me. I just like it.
J: This is going way better than expected, given that we barely remember the movie.
M: You should just type that.
J: BOOM. So we have two broguers on our side for this one! Go, Wales!
M: Well, any closing thoughts?
J: Would you recommend this movie to anyone?
M: No, not really. It wasn't terrible, certainly watchable, remotely interesting, Jude Law is still lovely.
J: As is Channing Tatum, but really, there's absolutely nothing feel-good here, except maybe some dirty vindication.
J: Bottom line... uh... I don't really have a bottom line. Brogue Effects, does that work?
M: It's better than Side Brogues.