Monday, September 30, 2013

Brogue Effects

M: Wow, Lativa totally dropped off... we'll always have Malaysia.

J: For those of you wondering, we had some fans in some rather... unconventional places. They must have moved.

M: Now of course by "fans," we mean whatever weird, electronic thing that visits blogs to confuse people.

J: Their only purpose: confusion. The masses will never be safe.

M: It's clearly working.

J: Dammit, you're right. [sips delicious drink]

M: It smells so good, I can smell it from here.

J: Spiked cider ladies and gentlemen, courtesy of, of course, The Bourgeois Pig. Because why would we blog anywhere else?

M: I mean... I could come up with reasons, but frankly I don't want to. Clearly the movie was really fascinating.

J: So it's been awhile since we watched Side Effects, and the truth is that we didn't like it very much in the first place. Dark, disturbing, someone dies, it's awful.

M: Spoiler! It was also quite light in its broguery as well. That's... that's not a word, but I like it.

J: Me too. It stays.

M: Did I tell you when I searched for blogs about brogues, a vast majority of them were actually about shoes? Like a lot.

Mr. Law, er, Banks, in action.
J: BWAB: Breaking stereotypes one visit at a time. This movie made it to Blog With A Brogue only because of Jude Law, who we hadn't really seen in awhile.

M: ...

J: Comments on Jude Law, Meredith?

M: [laughs] Umm...

J: His character perhaps?

M: I liked his character.

J: There we go!

M: I liked his character very much. I appreciated his profession and his professionalism, as well as his philosophy, which guided him through his profession.

Guess who dies.
J: For those of you now wondering, Jude Law plays a psychiatrist.

M: It makes it sound like I didn't even watch the movie.

J: I have proof you did. No I don't, but we'll pretend.

M: It's your word against mine, really, which is not unlike the situation Mr. Law finds himself in in Side Effects!

J: And the point for most unintentional transition ever goes to my esteemed co-writer.

M: I was hoping to be a colleague.

It's not her.
J: That can be arranged. In any case, the movie focuses on a seemingly disturbed young woman, who, under the influence of a experimental new anti-depression drug ends up murdering someone close to her. She then turns to Jude Law, her psychiatrist...

M: [laughs] Jude Law - not the character - actually Jude Law.

J: Okay [checks internet] His name is Dr. Jonathan Banks.

M: That was his name?

J: Yeah, I didn't remember.

M: Clearly not important.
Trouble in paradise.

J: Nope. In any case, he comes under fire for prescribing the drug and allowing the side effects to get out of control. The rest of the movie is a twisted unraveling of stories and claims.

M: And Catherine Zeta-Jones.

J: I hadn't seen her in anything in ages, and she does quite a good job as a rival psychiatrist.

M: Is she British?

J: No?

M: She's got a real funky accent. Like when she says the word "anything," she's got a real funky "ehni-thin'" going on.

J: [checks internet] She's Welsh!

M: I am so proud of myself right now. I would have guessed that she was... not Welsh... But see? We are learning!
Happier times.

J: We are! I have absolutely confidence in the fact that you would have never noticed her funky accent had we not been blogging about ridiculous movies for the past two years.

M: Honestly, of all words, the word "anything," seems to have become a dead giveaway to me. I just like it.

J: This is going way better than expected, given that we barely remember the movie.

M: You should just type that.

J: BOOM. So we have two broguers on our side for this one! Go, Wales!

M: Well, any closing thoughts?

J: Would you recommend this movie to anyone?

M: No, not really. It wasn't terrible, certainly watchable, remotely interesting, Jude Law is still lovely.

J: As is Channing Tatum, but really, there's absolutely nothing feel-good here, except maybe some dirty vindication.

M: Yep.

J: Bottom line... uh... I don't really have a bottom line. Brogue Effects, does that work?

M: It's better than Side Brogues.

J: Boobs.

"You're Welsh."
"Thank you."

No comments:

Post a Comment