The Tall Brogue

M: I'm confused. Oh! Okay. I see what you're doing. But see then people are gonna listen and try to read at the same time, and maybe you miss a word or you misquote me, worst of all, and I just, our fans might get really upset! Is that not a concern?

J: First of all, I rarely miss a word. I'm pretty good.

M: I was just going to compliment you on that. I'm amazed that you're keeping up. There is a little bit of a lag. I just had to say it. I'm not judging, obviously.

J: Okay, so the typos are, uh really going for it tonight.

M: I think you should just leave them in, so people should see visually, as well as hear what you were up against. With all my stuttering and stopping.

J: Also, I have bandaids on two fingers. This is kind of hard.

M: So we watched a movie. It was an old movie. It was a movie I'd never heard of. And it had an alien Jeff Goldblum from an era... didn't even look like Jeff Goldblum. It was like, ah, see now I'm distracted by you correcting typos, this is terrible.

J: So this movie was one of Jeff's earliest films I swear. I think we looked it up and it was '89? Yeah, that sounds right. Super early. And not only was he just completely weird looking, he was also a terrible actor.

M: Are we going to talk about the sweaters? Because those were amazing.

J: HIs outfits just continued to get worse and worse.

M: Or more amazing, depending on your preference.

J: The worst part is that Emma Thompson was also in this. And I love her. And her character was great for like, 95% of this movie.

How, uh, did you leave the house like that?

M: So I had some really deep thoughts about this earlier today at work. I was thinking about her character and how bizarre she is, and it reminded me of the discussion in Gone Girl, about the cool girl. And part of me still gets really mad and defensive about the cool girl thing. Because it's like, as much as anything, it assumes that a girl is supposed to be some sort of way or some sort of thing and that she's weird or false or whatever if she actually claims to like something that the other concept of girl is not supposed to like. This sounded better before I started drinking. Back to this Emma Thompson character! I felt like she was kind of a cool girl just in the sense that she didn't make a lot sense to me as a character or as a human being, she was just a little erratic.

J: So I think we're getting to the end when Emma makes a decision that you or I would probably not have made. Jeff Goldblum cheats. Cheats on Emma Thompson. And it's terrible. He gives this impassioned speech in front of an entire ER full of people who should be working...

M: Saving lives...

J: And she forgives him.

M: Inexplicably. It wasn't even a good speech. It wasn't even a bad speech. It was awful.  He didn't even like toss her a compliment. There's just nothing.

J: So we really hated this movie by then end.

M: By the end. The sweaters, though. Amazing. Like the first 10 minutes of the movie I think that was all we could talk about. His fabulous attire.

J: I will also say that the haircut he has on the cover... never happens. I was so sad.

I just had the most ridiculous sex of my life.

M: He looks like sportscaster Jeff Golblum on the cover with his giant tan suit. It's amazing.

J: What else... the sex scene?

M: Oh god...

J; No it was that bad. Just overdone and unrealistic.

M: You said something while we were watching it...

J: Wasn't this written by someone who's really famous in the rom-com world?

M: Maybe? Or directed? I can't remember.

J: Like Nora Efron? I could have sworn.

M: Surely not. Did we talk about the brogues? I guess we mentioned Emma Thompson, who's wonderful otherwise, just not so much in this movie. I mean, she plays the character well, it's just a stupid character, in my opinion.

J: I agree.

M: I mean maybe for the time, she would've been interesting and different and very opinionated.

J: She did put him off for awhile.

M: She did. It was all very "her terms or no terms" kinda thing, which was cool. Is that a thing?

I'm totally in this movie, you twats.

J: It's a thing now. And that's what made it all the more disappointing when she flaked at the end. I was sad.

M: Oh Mr. Bean's in this! I almost forgot that. He's, uh, not very lovable.

J: He's a snarky magician or something.

M: He's a performer of some sort.

J: He's snarky, whatever he is.

M: There were some fun shots of London though. Wasn't it in London?

J: There were a lot of bicycle scenes.

M: He rides his bike through town at night and looks kinda cool.

J: The acting was just bad though.

M: Yeah, I mean it was close.

J: NO it wasn't!

M: Yeah. I liked the title. I liked how that fit in with things.

J: It was all about him.

M: Tell me about it!

J: I loved the break-up scene.

M: That was awesome.

J: She just intuits that he's cheated and calmly packs up her stuff and leaves. And he's dumbfounded. Obviously.

And that's how we feel about this movie.

M: Yep.

J: And then to come back from that and get back together... blah. I mean, yay rom-com...

M: Boo....

J: So that's The Tall Guy. Next up...

M; See it, don't see it... Jeff Goldblum...

J: I say give this one a pass. But don't miss...

M: The sweaters!

J: No. Not the sweaters. They can watch the trailer.

M; Yeah, that would pretty much be all you need to see. [dances]

J: We'll link the trailer at the end.

M: Well! Next, we're going to the theater, in like 10 minutes, and we're gonna see Ex Machina.

J: What about Tinker Bell?

M: Oh my god, we did watch Tinker Bell. We had the pleasure of doing a little babysitting earlier tonight with my awesome niece and we watched a fabulous film called  The Secret of the Wings starring none other than Tinker Bell. Shockingly, not only was none other than Angelica Houston one of the cast members, but James Bond, Mr. Timothy Dalton had quite a role in the film. We grew quite invested, honestly. I'd recommend it, actually.

J: It was... kinda good... I feel bad about saying that. Not the worst made-for-Netflix movie I've ever seen. And not the worst messages for kids, actually.

M: Working together, saving the forest, protecting your wings... sisters...

J: If you have one... which is apparently is really rare in fairy world...

M: Something about being born from the same laugh?! I missed that part.

J: It's a Peter Pan thing.

M: Well... [makes wrap it up sign]

BWAB... uh... finds a way...

J: Let us know what you think about this duel format.

M: I think there's gonna be a little bit of lag in the recording. Also let us know if you heard this at all. Or if you read this. Or accidentally ended up on this website, somehow.

J: We'd love to hear from you.

M: And if you did I'm sorry but welcome.

J: And that about does it!

M: Goodbye!!!!

BWAB Goes South: What We Brogue in the Shadows

J: A note to our readers. Vodka through a straw is not a great idea.

M: [laughs]

J: Blech. I mean really. 

M: God, I'm not used to the typing.

J: I know! We're going old-school today, blogging from none other than The Pig on a lovely (rainy) Sunday afternoon. Again though, shots from a straw, not a great idea. Ouch.

M: [sips Bloody Mary]

J: That's the ticket! Today BWAB is offering you a special treat, a blog that is NOT about a movie from England, Scotland, Wales, Ireland, or Northern Ireland. 

M: Or the Isle of Man.

J: Does that still count? I really didn't know that was a country.

M: It is very much a country, and I think we should try to find a movie from there.

J: Given the rule-bending that's about to occur (get excited), I really think we should. Something to bring us back to our Atlantic roots.

M: [nods appreciatively]

J: Our post today hails from the land of the Kiwi, New Zealand. I wanted to title this post, "BWAB Goes (Further) South" etc., but I got caught up in the difference between the further/farther semantics. Either way it would be wrong.

That face tho.

M: [coughs] [taps chest]

J: Yeah, let's get this done.

M: The pepper...

J: Oh, it was the real drink!

M: A drink made by a real bartender.

J: [sips vodka from straw] [makes face] [sips Bellini]

M: I was missing this old school style, but now I'm kind of missing the podcast.

J: I was just hitting my stride! But really, the podcast is fun too. I think we should combine the two in some fancy creative way.

M: I thought that said fancy cream at first. [laughs]

J: Podcast cre... nope, can't go there.

M: "Combine them in some fancy cream!" Delicious.

J: BUT ANYWAY, we're here to blog about What We Do in the Shadows, which was an unbelievably funny and weirdly relatable docu-dramedy about vampires and werewolves in New Zealand.

On Fridays we go clubbin'.

M: Can I just say, first of all, that I love that you found it weirdly relatable. I don't disagree... but I just wanted to point that out.

J: I meeeeeean, there's the loner outsider, the apartment life, uhhh... maybe that's it.

M: Someone mentions Twilight. 

J: SHUSH.

M: But yes, in addition to being weirdly relatable, it was a hilarious effort from the creators or producers of Flight of the Concords, a show I had not seen until recently.

J: I think they were both creators and producers... or maybe it was writers and actors... 

M: Friends and family?

J: I'm sure all of the above. I also just saw Flight of the Concords recently. I'd seen snippets before, but the episodes are really great. Super dry humor, utter sincerity, songs...

M: Yes, hilariously brilliant songs.

J: I'm not a huuuuge fan of the docu-anything format, so this movie lost me a little there, but the characters were truly inspired. Even Stu, who played, in effect, his real self.

Stu shows Viago the internet for the first time.

M: That's so great.

J: They literally found an awkward IT guy named Stu and had him play an awkward IT guy named Stu, who nonetheless befriends an entire city of undead/otherwise supernatural individuals. Individuals who are undead/otherwise supernatural? People-first language. It's important.

M: I was going to say "supernaturalized people," but I think that's something entirely different.

J: [snorts] I don't even know where to start with that one. Supernatural fans?

M: In any case... they brought much of the charm of the FotC show, as well as a lot of other hilarious New Zealanders I had not previously heard of, to this film. Does that make sense?

J: Almost... charm and New Zealanders... all from FotC! 

M: No... not really...

J: Charm from FotC... and New Zealanders!

M: There it is!

J: It's true, at least two of the main characters were regulars in FotC, and another couple were stand up comedians in their own right. All together, it made for a really dynamic cast. The original draw for me was the idea of modern-day vampires living together and dealing with the same sorts of issues we all deal with from time to time, like disruptive or rowdy roommates, exes, the works. For some reason this hasn't really come up in the American portrayal of vampires. They're always "other" or somehow "apart" from society, even in Twilight, which I totally have not seen a bunch of times.

M: I mean, if you think about it though, what is the Twilight family, the Cullens, if not a bunch of vampires sharing a house together? They're not an actual family and therefore as good as roommates. Not to say that you have to be blood related in order to be family...

J: You make a good point. However, my point about Twilight is that they clearly have ample money, can function in society as much or as little as they want, and choose to live together as a family. In WWDitS (I can't think of a way to make that better)...

The chore wheel strikes again.

M: I don't think you can, I think that's the best it can possibly be...

J: Anyway! In the movie, they're clearly only living together for financial reasons, they don't have modern, fancy cars or clothes, they share chores (which for some reason, the Cullens don't have) and they argue about really mundane things, with I think most other writers assume vampires have figured out by the time they've lived a few hundred years. One would hope.

M: That's a good point! I think that makes me like "double-u double-u dits" even more.

J: As it should! It's a unique take on the vampire craze, and one that's done really, really well. 

M: I agree wholeheartedly. Or heartily. I don't know. One of those. Both of those.

J: We're in perfect blogging form, guys. Happy Sunday.

M: [laughs] Brogues. They have accents.

J: I thought you said "sexes" and I was like, pretty confused. Not super confused, because I knew what you meant, but sort of worried for a minute.

"Vampires don't put towels down."

M: That explains your facial expression. I was also confused.

J: Accents! Yes! Glorious Kiwi accents, which we recently decided, despite the fantastic FotC spoof, were really different from Australian accents.

M: [nods] Definitely.

J: I'm not sure exactly how, other than "supporting the little guy" or whatever, but it seems different.

M: Oh, I have something to say about New Zealand/Australia! So, this was a few years ago. It was also a rainy day. It might have been a Sunday. I was in a hostel in London with three very obnoxious Australian men. I say men, they were like maybe 18. Anyways, they were lecturing a bunch of us on the Australian accent, the sort of, "it's not shrimps on the barbie, we call them prawns," yada yada yada, and I swear that either they told us or I inferred that... somehow I came to the conclusion that Rocko, from Rocko's Modern Life is not Australian. He's from New Zealand, and that's why he doesn't sound quite like you think he should. He doesn't sound Australian because he's not. He's from New Zealand.

J: Oh my god. Wow. I think you're right, he's always sounded a bit too... dorky? Is that a thing? To be Australian.

M: I think it's part of the show even. Part of the reason he's not a kangaroo, he's a wallaby.

J: Well that certainly holds up in FotC and even WWDitS; they're lovably, wonderfully awkward and ever-so-slightly counter-culture. They're the Canada to our America.

M: Yeah, well said.

Nick in the corner. We all have our moments.

J: I like it. That being said, I'm not 100% sure I could tell the difference if someone from New Zealand walked up to me and said something versus someone from Australia.

M: That would be a great Buzzfeed article.

J: ARE YOU LISTENING BUZZFEED. We have an idea for you that is not a moronic quiz about what your favorite pizza says about you!

M: In their defense, they did have a quiz about what vampire you were from WWDitS. 

J: They did!!! I got... Nick, I think. It wasn't a surprise.

M: I got Stu. Also not a surprise.

J: Stu's not even a vampire, guys. It makes perfect sense.

M: I am also not a vampire. We have so much in common.

J: [laughs too loud]

M: But really, we kind of do. [makes wrap-it-up signal]

J: But wait, one more thing! We're on Facebook! Check us out at http://www.facebook.com/BlogWithABrogue. We don't have much up yet, but soon ALL THAT WILL CHANGE. Stay tuned!

Tuned? Tuned! Hahaha!

Secret Brogue

J: This is terrible.

M: I know.

[Black Dynamite plays in the background]

What Brogue?

K: Look at me, I look lovely!

M3: You look lovely.

K: Your mom!

M3: I'm hungry.

K: Let's go get some McDs.

Peaky Broguers

J: You've been waiting and here it is! Our third podcast and perhaps our most intelligent post to date. Perhaps. Featuring the one, the only, BASS co-president Sara!

S: Yeah.

M: I like it.

S: I like it.

The Trip to Brogualy

M: Even the cat doesn't like us.

J: She should! She helped with the podcast. Again. We're even giving her credit this time.

M: BWAB presents, Podcast No. 2! Enjoy.

Minerva pouts from a distance.

P.S. 

J: It was October 11th, and we missed it last year, too. 

M: Two years in a row.

J: Thaaaaat's BWAB!

Alan Podtridge

J: 9:45 on a Thursday...




J: Our first attempt at a podcast! Or rather, just an audio recording of ourselves talking, instead of typing. Minerva makes her first appearance on the blog.

M: We promise it'll get better. But not much.

J: We leave you with a tribute to one of our favorite actors and human beings, the late Robin Williams. Your frosting face is delicious.